


Werewolves, and Witches and Mummies! Oh my!

by Jennilynn411



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV), Halloween Movies - All Media Types
Genre: 31 Days Of Halloween, Buckle up, Candy, Candy Bucket, Comedy, F/F, F/M, Fluff and Smut, Halloween Challenge, Horror, M/M, Trick or Treating, it's the most wonderful time of the year
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-02
Updated: 2016-10-19
Packaged: 2018-08-19 02:20:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 11
Words: 20,457
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8185307
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jennilynn411/pseuds/Jennilynn411
Summary: Guess what my little goblins and ghouls? It's October :DYou know that means right? That means 31 days of Halloween fun! So get out your candy buckets and settle in for some spooky stories, silly stories and fluffy stories. It's time for the coven to reconvene.





	1. Coraline

**Author's Note:**

  * For [BlueEyesBlueSkies](https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlueEyesBlueSkies/gifts), [LadyGreyWrites](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyGreyWrites/gifts), [ThatCat](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThatCat/gifts), [FancyKid](https://archiveofourown.org/users/FancyKid/gifts), [Direwaggle42](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Direwaggle42/gifts), [firedew](https://archiveofourown.org/users/firedew/gifts), [SassyEggs](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SassyEggs/gifts), [AngryTimeLadyClara](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AngryTimeLadyClara/gifts), [Gingerpie81](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gingerpie81/gifts), [Threepaws](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Threepaws/gifts), [Sarah_Black](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sarah_Black/gifts), [Zip001](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zip001/gifts), [SnowWhiteKnight](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SnowWhiteKnight/gifts), [iheartloki](https://archiveofourown.org/users/iheartloki/gifts), [Cupping_Cakes](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cupping_Cakes/gifts), [omj319](https://archiveofourown.org/users/omj319/gifts), [LittleBirdAddicted](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LittleBirdAddicted/gifts), [deansdirtywhore](https://archiveofourown.org/users/deansdirtywhore/gifts), [darkstark](https://archiveofourown.org/users/darkstark/gifts), [fat_joey](https://archiveofourown.org/users/fat_joey/gifts), [Phoward](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Phoward/gifts), [Rumpabumbum](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rumpabumbum/gifts), [darth_invader](https://archiveofourown.org/users/darth_invader/gifts), [goldandbeloved](https://archiveofourown.org/users/goldandbeloved/gifts).



> I own nothing Jon Snow!

 

**Stannis/Sansa**

 

 

**" T'ain't all bad, miss. Thou art alive. Thou art still living."**

**~Coraline~**

 

 

 

“Nothing fits!” Sansa sighed dramatically as she failed to fit in yet another dress. Stannis began picking up all the various articles of clothing strewn about the room, she knew the place looked like a tornado hit but she didn’t care, _nothing fit._

“Sansa, it’s only a movie. You don’t need to dress up like you’re going to black tie affair.”

“That’s easy for you to say, you always look so dashing while I look like a disgusting blimp.” She felt his protective arms wrap around her as he placed a hand on her enormous baby bump.

“You think I’m dashing?” She scoffed and elbowed him a little as he tightened his arms around her and buried his face in her hair. “You are Sansa Baratheon, my wife and you are carrying my son. You do not resemble a _blimp_.” She couldn’t help but blush slightly at the compliment.

“Thank you for being so good to me and thank you for agreeing to go on this double date.”

“Don’t thank me yet I don’t even know what movie we’re seeing.”

“Oh, we’re seeing Coraline. I think it’s a story about a little girl who finds a hidden door that leads to a parallel world where not everything is as it seems.”

“Well, as long as it doesn’t involve any dolls, you know how much I hate dolls.”

 

Sansa held her tongue what he didn’t know wouldn’t kill him. Besides it was better to ask forgiveness than permission right? Her friend Blue arrived with Jaime not long after and both women quickly shooed Stannis out of the room so they could choose an outfit that was at least halfway descent. They ended up choosing a simple green dress that didn’t require spanx and an act of god to slip into.

When the girls finally descended down the stairs Jaimie and Stannis were in a heated debate over the upcoming rugby match, The Stormland Stags vs The Reach Reavers. Sansa didn’t follow rugby preferring the raw violence of hockey instead. She and Blue, rolled their eyes as they walked past, the boys so engrossed in each other they didn’t even notice.

 

“Maybe we should have come down naked.” Blue whispered as they helped each other slip into their coats.

“Naked? I’m thinking we’d need a marching band to get their attention.” Both girls giggled as they stood waiting impatiently by the door.

Blue touched up her lip gloss in the mirror and scoffed, “well, we need to think of something or we’ll miss the previews.”

“Oh my Gods, I think I just peed on myself!” Sansa stared in horror as urine dripped down her leg and onto the floor. Stannis and Jaimie stopped speaking and stared at her with a mixture of disgust and embarrassment.

“Well, it’s not the tactic I would have chosen but it got the job done.” Blue said with a smirk before looking down at the small puddle collecting on the floor. “Crone, guide us, that’s not piss Sansa, your water broke.”

“What? How?” Jaimie stood there sputtering in disbelief while Stannis stood there looking like a deer trapped in headlights.

“What do you mean how? She’s having a baby Jaime! If you have any questions I’m sure Stannis can draw you a picture. Stannis! Stop being useless and call emergency services.”

“Don’t tell me what to do in my own home.”

“Stannis, please she’s a doctor. Let her help!”

“She’s not a real doctor she’s a _veterinarian._ She treats poodles not people!”

“Stannis!” Sansa screamed at him before he shifted away reluctantly.

 

Blue and Stannis helped her into bed as the power went out, thanks to the raging storm outside. Sansa had never been so scared in all her life. Jaimie tried to soothe her fears away but all she could think about was the grandmother she never met dying in her birthing bed. Would that be her fate? Would her baby be alright? She couldn’t stop the tears that rolled down her face as she imagined all the ways this could end in disaster.

Jaime held her hand and fed her ice chips while Blue coached Stannis on how to breath properly so he wouldn’t pass out. Everyone was trying so hard to be supportive but it was all wrong. Where was Dr. Luwin, where was her mother? She wanted her mother, she knew she couldn’t do this on her own. Stannis tried calling her but every call went straight to voicemail.

It was all too much for Sansa, she didn’t want to have her baby in the same bed he was conceived in. Her birth was supposed to be this wondrous event where she would bring her son into the world surrounded by light and love. Instead she was lying half naked in the dark, surrounded by her friends, in a pool of sweat and whatever else was leaking out of her.

 

**“Push!”**

**“I’m trying!”**

**“Try harder! Now push!”**

**“I can’t!”**

**“I can see the head! Come on sweetheart push for our son.”**

**“I can’t. I’m not strong enough.”**

**“PUSH!”**

**“FUCK YOU!”**

 

Sansa screamed out in agony as she bore down using every last bit of strength she had to push her son into the world. She cried again but this time they were tears of joy as little screams pierced the air. She fell in love with her son, her perfect little Steffon the minute he was placed in her arms. Stannis kissed her forehead and she could feel his tears hitting the top of her head.

 

“Happy Halloween Stannis.”

“Happy Halloween Sansa.”


	2. An American Werewolf in London

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I own nothing Jon Snow

 

** **

 

**Jon/Sansa**

 

**“A naked American man stole my balloons.”**

 

 

She was in heat and it was a nightmare. All she wanted to do was strip out of her clothes and fuck every man she met, terrifying her parents. It was only yesterday that her father had to physically pull her off Sandor. Of course the fact that her father had walked in on his baby girl sitting on a man’s face while he ate her out only added to her embarrassment.

The lecture she endured for that lapse of judgement wasn’t one she’d forget anytime soon. She was Sansa Stark of Winterfell; her bloodline was older than Valyria. She was descended from the first wolves and she could not afford to pollute the bloodline with some _commoner._ It was really a damn shame because Sandor certainly knew what he was doing with that tongue.

Tonight was the night of the full moon and the night she would settle on a mate. Of course her dating pool was rather small considering she was only allowed to mate within the family. Her father seemed like an ideal choice but she was afraid of the reaction she would get from her mother. Robb was dashing if a bit dense, Edmure was sweet but lacked confidence and The Blackfish wasn’t really interested in females at all.

Her only real options were her Uncle Benjen or her cousin Jon. She didn’t dare mention Jon’s name around her mother for fear the woman would try to kill him rather than letting her daughter mate with bastard. The whole thing was rather silly, her father had brought home a pup from another wolf a common enough occurrence and yet her mother blamed the pup rather than his sire.

Everyone assumed she’d be mating with Robb an assumption she did nothing to deter. What had Petyr taught her? Always keep your foes confused? It was sound advice from a man she later ate after he tried to shove his hand up her skirt after class. She was hoping he’d taste like the Mockingbird he always pretended to be but alas, he tasted like man.

Sansa finished getting ready and met her family downstairs for one final photo before they all left. Jon was stuck taking the picture, _again,_ a not so subtle reminder he wasn’t really apart of the “family.” Everyone headed out to The Winter Town Halloween Carnival, it was a family tradition. It was a time for joy, a time for laughter and a time to eat as many deep fried foods on a stick that one could find.

Last year she had found deep fried lemon cake and almost died of happiness. She decided to ride with Robb and Jon, her older brother crammed himself in the back so she could stretch out her long legs in front. It was rather sweet of him and she hoped he wouldn’t be to disappointed she picked another wolf to fuck over him.

Jon Snow smelled like the forest after it rained, he smelled like the earth and she almost growled with pleasure as he helped buckle her seatbelt. Was it her imagination or did his warm hands linger on her skin? No, it was too much to hope for, she figured she’d need to be fully naked for him to notice her, something that would definitely be occurring later if she had anything to say about it.

The drive was surprisingly quiet until Jon turned on the radio and began singing along with his favorite band, Happy Shitting. Normally she hated this type of music preferring the upbeat pop vocals of The Sand Snakes instead. Yet, here she was mesmerized by his lovely singing voice, when he looked into her eyes at a stop light and sang out a particularly suggestive chorus, she had to bite her bottom lip to keep from swooning in her seat. Robb was too busy sexting some other girl to notice the exchange.

 

“Look, there it is!” Sansa could barely contain her excitement as she spotted the glittering lights and display in the distance.

Jon only chuckled as he parked the car, “What do you want to do first?”

Rob punched the back of Jon’s seat with a laugh. “You’re being such a good sport about driving us Jon, Sansa should really should find a way to thank you later.” Her mind flashed with all the ways she’d love to show her cousin gratitude.

Jon quickly hopped out of the car and opened her door like the true gentlemen he was. “Can we stop by Old Nan’s bakery? She has the best lemon cakes around.”

“Of course, lead the way.” She let out a joyous squeal and latched onto his arm, his well devolved, surprisingly muscular arm.

Robb began whining in protest, “But, I wanted to go on all the rides.”

“You can still go; Jon will keep me company until you get back.”

“Thanks sis!” He kissed her cheek and slapped her butt before running off. Was it her imagination again or was Jon scowling?

 

Minutes later they were sitting at a picnic table while Sansa licked sticky, lemon frosting off her fingers. Jon kept staring at her intently and she couldn’t help exaggerating each lick. _Oh, the things I can do with this tongue Jon Snow._ It was almost as if he could read her mind because he suddenly became very thirsty and chugged the rest of lemonade like it were his last.

 

“Sansa?” She turned and smiled as her two best friends approached.

“Oh my gods, what are you two doing here?” She gave them both a hug and turned apologetically toward Jon when he stood up next to her and coughed. “I’m sorry, Jon. This is Cupcake and her twin brother Hot Pie.”

“You’re twins?” Sansa elbowed her cousin harder than she intended because he was unable to cover his grunt. Of course they didn’t look like twins, Cupcake looked like a supermodel and Hot Pie less so.

“Yeah, I got all the brains and she got all the looks.” Hot Pie winked at his sister as she rolled her eyes before flipping her flawless ombre hair over one shoulder.

“Where’s Jaime?” Sansa looked around for Cupcake’s latest conquest but didn’t see the golden Lannister anywhere in sight.

“Jaime? Jaime who? He’s old news, hadn’t you heard? I came here with Jorah.” Cupcake waved at Jorah who was struggling to carry a tray overburdened with food.

“I’ll go help.” Sansa felt her heart swell as she watched her cousin rush over to help a stranger in need, before it dropped under the scrutinizing gaze of her friends.

“Sansa?”

“Yes?”

“Why were you eye fucking your cousin?” Sansa let out a squeak and slapped Cupcake playfully on the shoulder.

“I wasn’t.”

Hot pie sighed and placed an arm around her shoulder, “Honey, you were sucking on your finger in a way that would make a whore blush.”

“What happened to Robb?” Cupcake wiggled her eyes suggestively before Sansa shrugged.

“Robb? Robb who? He’s old news, hadn’t you heard? I came here with Jon.”

“Touché.

 

Sansa and Jon spent some more time gossiping with her friends and she could see why her friend was so interested in Jorah, his voice was downright dreamy ad she knew it wasn’t even her hormones talking. Jon quickly escorted her away after she became too enraptured with a story Jorah was telling about some bitch named Dany.

They waked around the carnival arms linked together until they ran into Robb fucking some girl behind the corndog tent. Honestly Sansa was relieved but Jon took offense and knocked Robb out cold with one punch. Her brother was still fucking the corndog girl when he went down like a ton of bricks taking her with him.

Jon took her hand as they fled to the parking lot for a quick getaway. Unfortunately, they forgot Robb had the keys but Sansa only laughed and walked toward the forest, Jon following close behind. She began reciting the rhyme Old Nan loved to tell tourists.

 

“Keep to the road, Jon.”

“Stay clear of the woods, Sansa.”

**“Beware the full moon.”**

 

She pulled off her shirt and shrugged out of her pants while he stood there drinking the sight of her in. He tore off his own clothes and as they began circling each other, sniffing and measuring each other’s worth with their eyes. His body was strong, muscular and riddled with scars. He was a warrior even more honed in battle than Robb. She wondered if her own body pleased him as well. Suddenly he pushed her back against a tree claiming her mouth like the ravenous wolf he was forcing her to bite his lip to reestablish dominance.

He tore off her bra caressing her pert nipples before sliding her throng down her legs with his teeth. She whined before sinking into the soft earth on all fours submitting herself to him, the scent of her arousal hanging heavily in the air. He lined himself up behind her and began thrusting wildly as they changed.

 

* * *

 

 

_**I am Lady. I am the Red Wolf.** _

_**You are Ghost. You are Silence.** _

_**I am yours and you are mine.** _

_**From this day until the end of our days.** _

 

* * *

 

 

Sansa woke up naked entangled in too many arms. She sat up and shrieked causing Jon to jump up as well. They were covered in blood and there were at least three dead bodies around them. She tried to remember what happened but it was all a little fuzzy.

 

Jon picked up a limb, “I think this one is a Bolton.”

“How can you tell.” Sansa doubted the arm came with a toe tag.

“It says, Ramsay Bolton.” He tossed the arm over his shoulder and looked at the other limbs. “This one says, If Lost Return To Ramsay ~~Snow~~ Bolton.”

“Myranda has a tattoo like that.”

“You mean Myranda _had_ a tattoo like that.”

“Jon do you remember what happened?” She was curious to see how two civilians wandered into wolf territory.

“Vaguely, these two were hunting some girl through the woods until they found you marking our territory, the girl liked your pretty fur and tried to shoot you.

“Oh. That’s right. That bitch tried to shoot me while I was peeing and you saved my life by jumping her ass.”

“Yes, the guy kicked me but you jumped on his face and ripped it off.”

“Gods, he tasted good. After all the fucking we were doing I was famished.” Sansa made a mental note to thoroughly floss when she got home. Jon placed a hand on her shoulder and looked into her eyes his face full of concern.

 

“Sansa, why did you choose to mate with me? I’m not a Stark.”

“You are to me.”

 

He embraced her before piling up all the body parts while Sansa fished out a phone and made arrangements with Cupcake to come pick them up with some fresh clothes and Hot Pie for disposal.

 

“You can’t invite civilians here!”

“Relax Jon, two dead bodies are nothing to worry about. Hot Pie has disposed of much bigger messes than this, trust me. Plus nothing really shocks Cupcake, she used to date a Lannister for crying out loud.”

“Where did you say you met those twins?

“I didn’t.” Sansa kissed him on the lips, “let’s just say the twins have a very particular skill set.”

 

An hour later Sansa was showered, dressed and making plans to have brunch with the twins later that week. Now all she had to do was inform her parents she had chosen Jon Snow as her mate.

 

How bad could it be?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Today I'll be posting a short based on Poltergeist
> 
> The first person to correctly guess the pairing wins their very own spooooky cameo :D
> 
> Hint: Unlucky in love  
> Hint 2: Don't Fear the Reaper  
> Hint 3: Farewell Kiss  
> Hint 4: Gentlemen Prefer Blondes
> 
> We have a winner! It was Myrcella! Firedew was today's champion :D


	3. Poltergeist

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I own nothing Jon Snow

 

** **

 

** Myrcella/Sansa **

**“There is no death. There is only a transition to a different sphere of consciousness.”**

 

 

 

**From the Files of Detective Teyla Firedew-Clegane of The Kings Landing Police Department:**

 

 

** October 1, 2014 **

 

At 3:30 AM The Psychic Medium known as Snow White called and left a message from “Some dead Princess beyond the grave.”

“I will hurt them for this. They think they are safe and happy but their joy will turn to ashes in their mouths and you will know the debt’s been paid.”

 

_A chilling call to receive on the anniversary of Myrcella Baratheon’s disappearance. Sansa Stark stopped by to see if we have any new leads on the case. She was the last one to see Myrcella alive and carries tremendous guilt about it. The girls were only eight years old at the time, best friends since birth and closer than sisters. I wish I could do more but the case has gone cold._

 

 

** October 10th, 2014 **

****

At 3:30 AM Sansa Stark called the police to report a possible break-in.

Officers found scratch marks and what appeared to be blonde hair and dried blood stuck underneath the pane her bedroom window. A box covered in blue rose petals was also found. The box contained a beaded friendship bracelet and a bloodied, golden shroud.

After canvasing the area and verifying all windows and doors were properly secured, officers advised Mrs. Stark to remain indoors and to call if there were any more disturbances. The fingerprints and hair samples have been sent to the lab for further testing.

 

_Sansa is beside herself, I sat with her and tried to comfort her but everywhere I look there are pictures of her and Myrcella happy and smiling and I am filled with anger. Anger at the person responsible, guilt at not being able to do my job properly and sorrow for the memory of a little girl trapped somewhere between the living and the dead._

 

 

** October 20th, 2014 **

 

At 3:30 AM Emergency Services were summoned to Casterly Rock after Jaimie Lannister was involved in a table saw accident.

Mr. Lannister claimed the saw had been tampered with and reported that the last person to visit him had been Sansa Stark. Miss Stark has denied any involvement in the incident.

 

_I spoke with Sansa, she claimed she and Jaime had argued about Myrcella. She is sure he knows more than he is letting on about that day. I warned her to stay away from the Lannister’s. I doubt she’ll listen, she never does._

 

** October 30th, 2014 **

****

At 3:30 AM Emergency Services were called again to Casterly Rock, after Tommen Baratheon leapt out of his balcony window. He was found dead on the pavement, clutching a bloodied childhood picture of Sansa and Myrcella.

Before his death he called and left a message on Sansa’s phone that simply said, “I’m sorry, I never said anything. It wasn’t your fault. I’m so sorry.”

 

_Sansa claims the phone call is proof the Lannister’s covered something up and the guilt destroyed Tommen. I believe she may be onto something but I lack sufficient proof to go ahead with the investigation._

** October 31st, 2014 **

At 3:30 AM Naerys Laboratories called with the DNA evidence from the mystery box left at Sansa Stark’s apartment.   

The golden, bloodied shroud is a match for Myrcella Lannister, not Myrcella Baratheon. She is not a Baratheon leaving more questions than answers.

The Case of Myrcella Baratheon has changed from a cold case to an active one.

 

_Who left the box for Sansa? Was it Sansa herself or was it the killer? Why now? Why 3:30 AM?_

 

** October 1st, 2015 **

 

At 3:30 AM I received a call from the same psychic as last year. The Princess from beyond the grave had another message.

“The Targaryen’s aren’t the only ones who rain down fire and blood.”

 

_Well that was Cryptic. Sansa visited again asking if there were any new leads on the case. There have been no new leads and the case has yet again gone cold. I can see the frustration in her face it’s the same look I see every time I look in the mirror myself._

 

** October 10th, 2015 **

At 3:30 AM Emergency services were called to the Lannister Estate after Tywin Lannister was found murdered on his toilet.

He has been burned alive in a controlled fire. The matter is currently under investigation.

Mr. Lannister was last seen arguing with Sansa Stark outside his office. Witnesses reported seeing him strike Mrs. Stark before his security detail intervened.

 

_I spoke with Sansa and she confirmed they were arguing about Myrcella. She refused to say what words were exchanged only saying his reaction was ungentlemanly. She has a solid alibi but I still advised her not to leave town._

 

** October 20th, 2015 **

****

At 3:30 AM An anonymous call was placed after Cersei Lannister was found wandering around a neighboring estate, naked, covered in her own feces and crying.

Her head had been shaved and she was ringing a little bell screaming “shame.” When officers questioned her she claimed she was performing her walk of atonement for the sins she committed against the gods.

Mrs. Lannister was booked into the Qyburn Psychiatric Institute for observation.

_I spotted Sansa Stark, parked down the street in an unmarked car. She was dressed in all black and carrying a pair of binoculars. She claimed she was only star gazing but I have a feeling she was waiting for something to happen. If I find out she drugged Cersei I will arrest her ass._

 

 

** October 30th, 2015 **

****

At 3:30 AM Police were called to Casterly Rock after Tyrion Lannister discovered the human remains of a child, buried in the rose garden.

Along with the child the remains of several dead and dismembered animals were also found. Officers believed they were looking at the makings of a serial killer.

Joffrey Baratheon became quite agitated after being questioned by law enforcement and fled the scene in an unattended police cruiser. He was run off the road by none other than Sansa Stark who claimed she just happened to be in the neighborhood.

 

_Sansa and I both believe the body belongs to Myrcella. I held her at the precinct while she sobbed, she said she could always feel her friend’s presence guiding and protecting her. She said she could even see her sometimes out of the corner of her eye. I told her that true friendships don’t end in death they last for an eternity._

 

 

** October 31st, 2015 **

 

Joffrey Baratheon was arraigned today. He pleaded not guilty to grand theft auto before loudly proclaiming before the court that Sansa Stark had murdered his sister before burying her in his family’s rose garden.

_Quite the accomplishment for an eight-year-old little girl sporting braces and a broken arm_.

 

After his announcement Joffrey choked to death in front of a packed courtroom. He gagged, sputtered, cawed at his throat and then he died. An autopsy is currently underway.

 

_I watched him die before my eyes and in the corner of my eye I could see the ghost of Myrcella Baratheon wrapping her hands around his throat, squeezing the life right out of him. When I blinked she was gone and he was dead. Is this what Sansa has been seeing her whole life?_

 

** October 1st, 2016 **

****

Joffrey Baratheon strangled his little sister when she was only eight years old. She took offence to him killing Tommen’s new kitten and he killed her for it. Tommen who witnessed the whole thing and ran and told his mother who slapped him to keep him quiet. She asked Jaimie to dig a trench in the garden and then she buried her own daughter at 3:33 AM.

 

The case has been officially closed.

_Sansa came by today and thanked me for all my help. As she was about to leave and we both saw the ghost of Myrcella Baratheon at the window looking at us, a soft smile on her lips. She wasn’t a child anymore but a woman grown. My heart ached for everything that could have been. Sansa told her it was time to walk into the light and we both cried tears of joy as she did._

 

 

_Be at peace sweet girl may the angels guide you home._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next short will based on the film Fright Night 
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IwTUI8u_5Y8
> 
> The first person to correctly guess the pairing wins their very own sexy cameo! Oh la la
> 
> Hint: "Bear" with me
> 
> We have a winner! It was Tormund :D everyone give a shout out to Queen Naerys! Long may she reign.


	4. Fright Night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I own nothing Jon Snow
> 
> Sorry for the delay everybody! Expect double updates this weekend! 
> 
> *throws armfuls of candy toward readers*

****

** **

** Tormund/Sansa **

**“** **You think if you live and we all die, you'll be able to get us out of your head?”**

All rise for The Queen and King of Westeros: Queen Naerys of House Dracula. The Unburnt Queen of the Andals, the Rhhoynar, and the First Vampire. Queen of Mereen, Khaleesi of the Great Blood Sea, Breaker of Chains and Mother of Children.

And her Husband King Jon of House Stargaryen. The White Wolf of The North, Prince that was Promised, Azor Ahai reborn. Lord Commander of the Nights Watch, Devoted servant of R’hllor and Father of Children.

 

She fell into a deep curtsy as The Queen and King glided past her in all their regal splendor. They were followed closely by their loyal Gold Cloaks, Vampires of renowned strength and cunning. The petite Queen sat upon the Iron Throne with her husband standing to her right. To their enemies they were blood thirsty and fearless, to their subjects they were beloved and to Sansa they simply family.

 

  
“Lady Sansa of House Stark come forward please.”

 

The Kings voice rang out crystal clear and the crowds around her parted allowing her a pathway to her salvation or to her doom. She kept her eyes trained to the floor as she performed another deep curtsey.

 

“Lady Sansa you discovered a plot to destroy the crown, you risked your life to save others and for that we thank you. We owe you a debt, request anything your heart desires and if it is within our power we shall grant it.

“I thank your majesty for her kind words. The only thing my heart desires is for Tormund Giantbane to be pardoned of his crimes.” Behind her the courtiers became abuzz with hushed, angered whispers directed at her. _They see me as a traitor but I do not care. I am a Stark and I can be brave._

The Queen held up her hand silencing the court. “Tormund of the Giantbane has committed many egregious crimes against this Kingdom. Why is it you wish him to be pardoned?”

“Because I love him.” The court exploded with people shrieking ‘traitorous whore” and worse. She was sure a few of the Septa’s had fainted and she winced as her own cousin The King mouthed the words “seven hells”.

 

 

* * *

 

 

**Six Months Ago**

 

Sansa was walking down the street when she ran into a brick wall, no, not a brick wall, a man. A tall, muscular, broad shouldered, ginger haired man. She felt like a fool staring at him but she couldn’t help it, he was rugged, handsome and completely different from any one she’d ever met.

 

“Oi’ you alright?”  It was clear he wasn’t from around here and she found her curiosity about him piqued.

“Yes, I’m fine thank you.”

“Well that’s good then. I’m afraid I’m new to the area and I’m not really sure where I am.”

“Oh, I can help you out. Where were you trying to go?”

“Well I’d love to get in your pants but I’d settle for directions to the nearest petrol station.”

Sansa raised an eyebrow, he was bold and she liked bold men. “The petrol station is two blocks down and here is my number. I’m dying to see how you try to get into my pants because frankly I’m not sure you could handle it.”

“Did anyone ever tell you that having red hair makes you lucky? It means you’ve been kissed by fire.”

“Keep talking like that and maybe you’ll be the one who gets lucky.”

 

She turned the corner and walked away before he could respond with a smile on her face and a slight bounce in her step. They made arrangements for him to pick her up a little half past seven. The day couldn’t go fast enough for her, and when the sun finally set she emerged from her silk lined coffin feeling rather hungry and not necessarily for food.  

He was late but when he eyed her up and down hungrily she forgave him, that was until someone started shooting up her place. Tormund tackled her to the floor as glass exploded all around and she heard tires peeling away. He groaned as she wiggled out from underneath him, she carefully turned him over before gasping.

 

“You’re bleeding?”

“Aye, I’m bleeding lass.”

“That’s impossible. How could you be bleeding?”

“Because I’m human. Now are you going to help me or eat me? If you’re going to eat me I’d rather you do it naked, I’d love to go out with a smile on my face.”

“Humans aren’t real. They’re a myth like giants, White walkers and Children of the Forrest.”

“I hate to be the one to tell you this but you know nothing.”

 

She ripped off his shirt and licked his wounds savoring the drops of his blood as they lingered on her tongue. He tasted like lemon cakes and Arbor Gold and that made her panties wet. He let out a growl as her tongue left his wounds and began winding down his defined abominable muscles.  

 

“Tell me.”

He hissed as she began working on his belt, “Tell you what?”

“Tell me why you were attacked in my home.” She grasped his penis and he shut his eyes as she began stroking his shaft.

“I think it was The Frey’s.”

She stopped stroking. “Go on.”

“The Frey’s have made a pact with The White Walkers in exchange for immprtality.

“Why would they do that?” She began slowing down enjoying his face as it looked at her incredulously.

“Gods, girl, don’ fuckin stop!”

She stopped and placed her hand on his chin firmly. "You don't tell me what to do little man. I am the Mistress of Pain and you are a guest in my dungeon." She watched him swallow and his eyes darken with lust.

 “They want to take over Westeros and they need an army to do it.” She resumed playing with his shaft feeling it grow in the palm of her hand. 

“I assume you have proof?”

“No, I killed one of ‘em before they could say anythin’.”

“Killing a vampire is punishable by death.”

“Valor Morghulis”  

 

He was so close and he had shielded her from danger so she decided to reward him by kneeling before him, flicking out her tongue and teasing the head of penis. She cupped his balls and began humming The Bear and The Maiden Fair as he trembled before her. She may be on her knees but she held all the power and it was intoxicating. When she relaxed her throat and took him fully in her mouth his hips began bucking wildly before he ejaculated into her eager mouth. He would pay for that later, she had a strict set of rules and he would abide by each of them while he was here. 

 

 

* * *

 

 

**Three Months Ago**

 

“Sansa look at this map what do you see?” Sansa slid onto Tormund’s lap wearing nothing but a smile while she took the map from him.

“It’s a map of this neighborhood. What are all these red dots?” His hands slid up her chest and he began nuzzling her breasts rubbing his scratchy beard over her tender nipples until she slapped him, he couldn’t touch her until she said he could. Rules, were rules. 

He rubbed his cheek and grinned, “those are missing vampires, I think the Frey’s are building up an army and I think their base is next door.” His hands slid toward her ass before she growled before he retreated.

“Don’t be ridiculous The Bolton’s live next door. Why would they align with the Frey’s?”

“Haven’t you heard? Roose Bolton is now a married man.”

 

Sansa smiled at him sweetly before she slid off him and sat on a desk on the opposite side of the room and opened her legs beckoning him forward. Tonight he would feast on her and if the bulge in his pants was any indication he was looking forward to it. 

 

* * *

 

**One Week Ago**

 

“Here is the file on the Bolton-Frey conspiracy.” She slapped the file down on Jon’s desk, her eye blackened and her arm in a sling.

“Honestly Sansa, why didn’t you just call? Why did you break into the Palace?”

“You took Tormund what was I supposed to do?”

“He’s a killer Sansa! He kidnapped and tortured vampires my very own subjects.”

“You mean, your would be assassins? For Gods sake Jon he helped save your life!”

“He's a human."

"So?"

"He's not like us Sansa, he's different. It isn't natural."

"You know nothing Jon Stargaryen!"

"Listen, I’ve talked to Qyburn and we both think your suffering from something called Meeren-Syndrome. It’s where victims fall in love with their captors.”

“He wasn’t holding me hostage Jon! If anything I kept him in bondage and he loved every second of it! _Who knew his safe word would be crow?_

“Enough!” You’ll be presented to The Queen in a week I expect you to be on your best behavior I will not have you upsetting my wife, is that clear?

“Crystal.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

**Now**

 

Tormund was brought before The King and Queen, he looked gaunt as if he hadn’t been fed in days and she silently raged.  

 

“Tormund of the Giantsbane you come before the court accused of the murder and torture of vampires what have you to say for yourself?”

“I am guilty aye but I would do it again, no one threatens Sansa on my watch and gets away with it.”

“Lady Sansa Stark has declared her love for you before the court. What have you to say in that regard?

“I would gladly die for her and if that’s not love I don’t know what is.”

“Very well, will you kneel before the crown and pledge your loyalty?

“I do not kneel.”

“Then I sentence you to death.” Sansa screamed and ran toward Tormund before the guards restrained her. The court erupted in protests most calling for his head but some crying out for mercy as well. The Queen held up her hand once more. “I sentence you to a mortal death only to be reborn as a vampire.”

 

Sansa wept tears of blood and ran to her beloved, he whispered words of comfort before they were escorted to a separate room for his turning. They stripped out of their clothes and made love for the first time. Not the wild passionate sex she was used to but something deeper, something purer. She kissed him one last time before sinking her fangs into his neck relishing his blood as it poured out, staining her naked flesh. She bit her wrist as he lay dying, dripping it into his mouth before closing it with another kiss. 

 

Death was only the beginning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next short will be based on Drag Me To Hell
> 
> The first person to correctly guess the pairing wins an awesome cameo! Woot :D 
> 
> Hint: A wedding to die for
> 
> Hint: Die, Die My Darling
> 
> WE HAVE A WINNER!!! The answer was Hizdahr! Good job fat_joey :D


	5. Drag Me To Hell

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I own nothing Jon Snow

 

** Hizdahr/Sansa  **

**“I beg you and you shame me?”**

 

Sansa swallowed, her body trembling slightly as the cold steel of Daario’s gun pressed firmly against her temple. Her cousin, Joey Stark, was bound and gagged on the floor sending a murderous look toward Dany as she forced Hizdahr to sign away all his shares to his father’s company making the Dragon Bitch the wealthiest woman in Westeros.

 

Dany stood and handed the document over to her lawyer, “see, that wasn’t so bad was it?”

“Why can’t you just leave us alone!” Sansa didn’t mean to scream but her nerves were shot.

“My dear Sansa, I thought brides were supposed to be happy on their wedding day. Cheer up it’s almost over and you two can finally enjoy that honeymoon trip you planned. Only one thing left to do.” She watched in horror as Dany pulled out a gun and shot Hizdahr in the chest.

Daario rushed to Dany’s side and shook her roughly by the shoulders, “Dany, what have you done? You said you weren’t going to kill anybody!”

She shrugged him off, “I changed my mind. Let’s go before the Harpy’s get here.”

“What about the girls?”

Sansa didn’t really hear them arguing as she cradled Hizdahr’s head in her lap, his blood staining her white dress. She looked at her hands stained with blood of her beloved, her husband, the father of her unborn child and screamed.

 

***

 

Dany and Daario stopped arguing as Sansa and Joey's eyes rolled in the back of their heads. They each began speaking in an ancient language that seemed to echo in the deepest recessives of her mind

 

**We call upon the blood of my blood, The Great Other, The Knight King and Stark of old.**

**We call upon you to give me justice.**

**We call upon you to right the great wrong that has befallen our family.**

**We call upon you to curse you Daenerys Targaryen to an endless winter with horrors beyond mention.**

 

Sansa’s eyes readjusted as she spat a mouthful of blood at Dany. She tried to take a step back but the air chilled and Daario cursed as dropped his now frozen gun. How did Sansa do that? Was it magic? _Am I going mad?_ No, that was her father and she was nothing like her father. He was a cruel, heartless and vindictive man. He would have delighted in seeing Sansa cradling her dying husband in a bloody gown. A sight she knew would give her nightmares.

This wasn’t personal, this was business pure and simple. Hizdahr was the leader of the Harpy’s, she had to kill him. Perhaps it was cruel to do so in front of Sansa but a leader must never hesitate to do what needs to be done to protect her people. Perhaps she would thank her one day when all the bloodshed in the streets dried up and children were no longer afraid to walk to school.

She and Daario fled the small room, her lawyer had disappeared as soon as she fired her gun. _All lawyers are rats and this one’s no different._ The drive back to the penthouse was quiet and there was a chill in the air that made her uneasy. She turned on the heater but it wouldn’t work, she banged on it a couple of times before giving up in a huff.

 

The doorman held open the door and as she passed, only it didn’t look the doorman he looked like Hizdahr bleeding from his chest, he grabbed her hand with his icy hands. “Winter is coming for you Daenerys Stormborn.”

She yelped in surprise and wrenched her arm away from him, “what did you say? What did you fucking say to me?”

Daario placed a hand on her shoulder and looked at her curiously, “he said welcome home. Why what did you think he said?

She looked at the doorman who was indeed the doorman and not the ghost of the man she killed before shaking her head. “I’m sorry, I need some sleep.” She walked away trying to calm the pounding in her chest.

 

Dany sunk into a hot bath determined to warm herself and to wash the blood off her skin but as hard as she tried she could not get clean, she scrubbed her hands until the skin started to peeled off and still she couldn’t being herself to stop. The water had been cool a long time before Daario found her and carried her to bed, calling for a Maester to treat her wounds.

All she needed was sleep, the Maester gave her a pill but instead of a sleepless slumber she witnessed Sansa’s wedding. All the guests were so happy until Dany set Ned Stark on fire and strangled Robb with her bare hands. Everyone was screaming but all she could do was laugh, she woke up laughing and that terrified her.

She didn’t kill Ned or Robb Stark, why would she dream such a thing? Those were horrors her father committed, all she did was execute a guilty man. She was a hero not a monster. Had Sansa actually managed to curse her somehow? No, that seemed unlikely, she’d only tried to frighten her but a dragon is not easily frightened.

Tyrion Lannister stopped by to deliver some paperwork but when she opened her door all she could see was the face of an undead child staring at her with unblinking blue eyes. She screamed and slammed the door forbidding anyone from opening it. She needed help, she hadn’t worked this hard to watch her world crumble before her eyes. Dany dialed Missandei and prayed she would answer it, she needed her friend.

 

“Hello?”

“Missandei! I need you! I think I’m being haunted or I’ve been cursed or something.”

“Cursed?”

“I keep seeing things that aren’t there, I’m cold all the time and one creature told me winter was coming for me.”

Suddenly the voice of Missandei was replaced with that of Sansa Stark, “When winter comes not even the dragons breath will warm you.” She threw the phone against the wall and wrapped herself in a blanket and cried.

 

It had been three days of hell for Dany, she’d fired all her staff and set her own dining room table on fire in a bid to get warm. Nothing helped, she saw ice zombies reflected in her mirrors, her tv only showed her specials about frozen wastelands and she still couldn’t get the blood off her hands.

When she could bear it no longer she cut off her own hand with an antique sword trying to rid herself of Hizdahr’s blood she would have cut them both off if Daario hadn’t intervened and had her committed. He was trying to protect her but he couldn’t not when The Knight King was coming. She tried to warn everyone he was coming for her but they didn’t listen, _I should burn them all_.

When the Knight King came for her he looked every inch the monster she thought he would be. She cried and begged for mercy telling him that Hizdahr’s death couldn’t be helped but he only smiled as he came closer giving her a kiss, the kiss of the stranger, the kiss of death. His jagged teeth ripped into her lips until she was choking on her own blood before he dragged her away screaming.

 

***

 

Sansa and Joey watched with satisfaction as their ancestor dragged The Dragon Bitch away to the Lands of Always Winter. She was going to become a plaything for creatures they could barely fathom. The Knight King kissed them each on their heads before he patted both their small baby bumps he was interested in the sons they carried, they knew there would be a cost and they held each others hands for comfort each breathing a sigh of relief when he made it known they could keep their sons. He had something greater in store for them. Stannis called shortly after to tell them Hizdahr had made it out of his final surgery and was expected to make a full recovery.

 

Sansa smiled, today had been a good day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next short will be based on The Cabin In The Woods
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NsIilFNNmkY
> 
> The first person to correctly guess the pairing will win an exciting cameo! Ooooh Ahhhhh
> 
> Hint: Stag, Bear, Moose, Lion, Direwolf
> 
> WE HAVE A WINNER!!! It was Locke! All these animals/houses have been hunted and we all know who's the best hunter of them all! 
> 
> Everyone give a round of applause to Zip001 for a game well played :D


	6. The Cabin in the Woods

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I own nothing Jon Snow 
> 
> YEEEEESH am I bad at updating! Here I am making promises I couldn't keep... 
> 
> *hangs head in shame*

 

** Locke/Sansa **

 

**“Yeah, uh, I had to dismember that guy with a trowel. What have you been up to?”**

 

 

 

**“Previously on The Cabin in the Woods: The Tyrell family had an unexpected flat forcing the posh family to seek shelter in our remote cabin overnight. What they don’t realize is they’ve stepped out of the safety of their own world and into their own personal hell.**

**Fat Mace went first; poor man couldn’t outrun the Bolton’s Bastards. Let’s watch his demise on replay shall we?** **Oooooooh I don’t think anyone of us will be forgetting the sound of him being strangled to death with his own intestine anytime soon!**

**Who’s next? Will it be Granny Rose, Margaery the Minx or Pretty Boy? Place your bets folks, place your bets.”**

 

**Remember to always drink your Naerys Tea, this is The Mockingbird signing off.”**

 

 

 

“And cut!” As soon as the magic words were spoken the crew began scrambling like mad setting up the next scene. Alayne, sighed as her _father_ was fawned over by a couple of teenage girls from makeup. They loved that he was the host of the hottest show in town but would they love him if they knew what he did at night, to her?

“Gods, look at them arguing in there.” Petyr had waved off the girls to come and stand above her, pointing toward the monitor where Margaery and Loras were currently throwing dishes and screaming at one another. “This will certainly give the ratings a boost.”

His hand slid carefully under her shirt brushing his fingers across her lacy bra. It wasn’t as if he hadn’t already explored every inch of her body, still she frowned. “Father—

“Please, call me Petyr.” He pushed his hand under her bra and squeezed her nipples painfully causing her to whimper slightly in pain.

“Am I interrupting something?” He ripped his hand away as Zip, walked up carrying something that looked a pepper mill.

“No, I was just helping Alayne with—

“What a breast exam? Really Petyr isn’t there something else you could be doing right now besides harassing your _fake_ daughter?”

“I wasn’t harassing anyone, and she is my daughter.”

“If she’s your daughter than I’m a natural blonde. Alayne, the next time Little Fucker speaks I want you to tase him. On second thought he might enjoy it too much. Use pepper spray, that’s an order.”

“You can’t talk to me like that! I’m the host.”

Zip swung the pepper mill she was carrying like a club and smacked him in the face breaking his nose. “Now you’re a bleeding host. Kindly get out of my sight before I have security throw your creepy ass out.”

 

Petyr and Zip stood toe to toe glaring at each other, Alayne would never dream of speaking to her _father_ like that but then again her father didn’t own the network like Zip’s did. Her friend was the daughter of the most powerful man in Westeros, a man who built his entire empire on the corpses of those who crossed him. Zip was untouchable and it drove Petyr mad.

 

Alayne smiled and mouthed a “thank you” as her friend pulled out the schedule. “Okay Alayne, we have your big reveal scheduled for the morning. Hair and makeup will be at your door no later than seven.”

She bit her bottom lip and clasped her hands, “Zip, I’m nervous, what if the audience doesn’t enjoy the reveal? What will happen to me if the ratings drop? What will your father do if he finds out I’m a failure?”

Her friend looked at her with a face full of compassion, “oh my sweet summer child, they will love you. Daddy loves you so much he adopted you didn’t he? Now all we have to do is break the news to Little Fucker in front of millions of people. I can’t wait to his face!”

 

Her friend ran off giggling leaving Alayne where she was shaking her head at the improbability of it all. She spotted Locke across the way and made a beeline toward his trailer. As one of the best hunters on the show he was treated like royalty and his trailer was more comfortable than most of the luxury suites she’d stayed in.

Locke wasn’t a good man; he wasn’t even a great man. He was an evil man who did evil things, he raped, murdered, tortured, stalked, kidnapped and mutilated for a living. And yet she was attracted to the brutal honesty of it all. In a life where everyone wore a mask he didn’t need to, and that was more of a turn on than anything Petyr had ever done.

Her panties were almost soaked before he slipped in behind her, his expert hands making quick work of her outfit. His tongue caressed her nipples and she shuddered, running her fingers through his soft brown locks. Suddenly the trailer door opened and Zip came bounding inside before screaming and covering up her eyes.

 

“Gods, Locke! Ever hear of putting a tie on the door?”

“You and I both know I’ve walked in on you and Jaime fucking more times than I can count.” Zip made some type of audible protest whole Alayne hastily put her clothes back on.

“What’s so important you had to fly in here like a bat out of hell?”

“Oh, we released Cersei from her cage and she ended up attacking Loras with a carving knife!”

Locke kicked the side of the trailer, “mother fucker, I had my money on him to win.”

Zip looked at him with a raised eyebrow, “you could still win, the shit’s still alive. She ended up carving a seven pointed star into his forehead though.”    

Alayne grimaced, “that’s disgusting.”

“It was horrifying to watch; I can’t wait to review the instant replay! Also Daddy is looking for us something about some paperwork that needs to be signed. Sorry Locke you’ll have to play with your favorite lemon cake some other time!”

Zip tried pulling her toward the door before she stopped her to give something to her lover. “Before I forget I have a present for you.” She smiled shyly at Locke as she handed him a small envelope.

“What’s this?”

“It’s a picture of some big dumb bitch from who cares where and she’s waiting for you in the bear pit.”

 

Locke said nothing before he swung her around like a rag doll, ripping off her pants and fucking her hard and fast. Zip made gagging sounds before exiting the trailer as Alayne screamed his name to the heavens. By the time she left, her hair was a mess, she had dried cum on her thighs and a slight bow in her walk. She was sure everyone knew why but thankfully they knew enough to avert their eyes.

After the paperwork was signed she fell asleep in Locke’s empty trailer, he was no doubt having _fun_ with Brienne the Beauty, but that didn’t bother her. She remembered the first time she watched him rape a girl, it was violent, repulsive and yet she couldn’t look away. He’d made sweet love to her later in a field of flowers, he was a different man with her. She was privy to a side of him no one saw.

She remembered a time when rape and murder would have horrified her. That was a long time ago, those memories belonged to a different girl from a different life. Sansa Stark died so Alayne Stone could live, a woman born again in fire and blood.

Her lover was free to sake his darker appetites wherever and whenever he wanted as long as he treated her with a gentle hand. _Let the world bathe in his evil deeds, I have his love_. They loved each other, it might be a dark, twisted, violent, chaotic love but it was theirs all the same. She fell asleep on his pillow dreaming of red haired children running happily through the woods. No one was hunting them. No one was chasing them, they were _safe._

 

“Alayne, wake up!” Zip shook her violently with a stupid grin on her beautiful face. “Morning sunshine, you’re on the air soon so let’s get moving!”

Locke moaned and pulled Alayne in tighter against his chest. She looked at him and smiled, he had come home last night after all. She’d have to watch the clips of the bear match after the big reveal. Alayne kissed her dark prince and hopped out of bed. Before she knew what hit her she was bathed, primped, curled, and standing before no less than fifty cameras.

Margaery was crying beautifully, cradling her dead brother in her arms. Apparently, sometime late last night Jaimie Lannister had snuck out of Zip’s bed and choked the life out of the Tyrell heir. The phones had been ringing off the hook ever since, the ratings had gone through the roof. A lot of people were tuning in to see the destruction of the roses.

Olenna sat at the kitchen table silently drinking tea a butcher knife held firmly in her bony grasp.“What do you people want! What is this place?” Margaery was a broken woman screaming at the top of her lungs in vein and that made her smile.

“Hello Margaery.”  Alayne walked carefully trough the door watching the color drain out of the face of the only two remaining Tyrell’s.

“Sansa? What are you doing here?”

“You condemned me to hell I thought it only fitting to return the favor.”

Margaery looked utterly bewildered, “what are you talking about?”

Alayne brought forth an iron poker she had concealed behind her and swung it in the air pointing it at Olenna. “You framed me for murder, gave me to a rapist and then reaped the rewards.”

“It was grandmothers plan, I had no idea! Sansa please, if you were ever my friend—

“Friend? Friend? Do you know who blabbed out my secret engagement? Loras, my betrothed was fucking a whore and destroying the only chance I had at making a clean escape.”

“So you killed him!” Margaery was distraught, an emotion Alayne knew well.

“No, I didn’t kill him Jaimie Lannister did. It was only fitting considering you killed his son.”

Olenna scoffed, “I couldn’t let my girl marry a monster, you should be on your knees thanking me for ridding the world of that disgusting creature.”

“You killed my tormentor yet gave me to another. The North remembers. You want my thanks? Here it is.” Alayne swung the poker and made contact with Margaery’s head with a sickening crack.

Olenna cried out and tried to lunge for her but Locke quickly restrained her. The old woman sat crumpled and defeated, “I will destroy you for this!”

Alayne ignored the threat as she flicked a piece of Margaery’s brain matter off her cheek. “Smile Olenna, the cameras are watching.”

 

 

 

 

**Next week on The Cabin in the Woods: The Baelish family is having car troubles, it’s a good thing they’ve taken refuge at Clegane’s Bed & Breakfast. What could possibly go wrong?  **

**Be sure to place your bets and remember, you either live or you die in here, there is no middle ground.**

**This is Alayne Martell signing off, reminding you to always drink Naerys Tea.**

**Until next time!**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next short I will be posting is based on Children of the Corn 
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dTmMiueFHb8
> 
> The first person to correctly guess the pairing wins a super creepy cameo! Lucky you :D
> 
> Hint: Five Bodies
> 
> WE HAVE A WINNER!!!!!! It was Theon :D
> 
> Stark children, 5 Greyjoy Brothers, 5 Oceans!!!!! You guys are getting really good about guessing :)
> 
> A big shoutout to DarkStark for some superior guessing skills!!!


	7. Children of the Corn

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I own nothing Jon Snow

 

 

** Theon/Sansa **

 

**“Question me not, Malachai! I act according to His will.”**

Sansa and Arya clung to each other in the bunker Reek built for them. He had covered them up with a blanket and shielded their trembling forms with his body. They all held their breaths as Lady Stoneheart passed by looking, nay hunting  them. Arya placed her chubby little hands over her ears and rocked back and forth.

 

“Reek, you have to go and get help. Our knight is coming, I’ve seen her in my dreams.”

“No, my lady. I mustn’t! She’ll know.”  He was shaking now and she placed her smooth hand over his broken one.

“You must be brave or all will be lost.” Reek swallowed shakily before climbing out of the bunker and ambling off. “Come on Arya, we have to buy him some time.” Her sister nodded but said nothing, she never did.

 

 

 

*******

Dark Stark, drove her ’67 Ford Mustang up the coast toward Winterfell. This dark red beauty wasn’t the only thing she was bringing to meet the family, she also had an adorable wolf pup curled up next to her on the seat, a present from her new husband. _Starks and wolves belong together_. She was a little nervous about what her father would say when she showed up unannounced with a ring on her finger but that’s where the puppy came in.

 

_Hey dad, want to hold my puppy? Remember when you were nervous that I would go to Vegas with Joey and we’d gamble all our money away? Turns out you should have been more worried about me running off to elope with your biggest business rival!_

 

Her father was going to be furious. There simply wasn’t a good way to tell him that she was now married to the man he once tried to kill. Brandon Stark was known for his temper and when it came to his daughters he was a living legend. She wished her sister or Petyr were here with her but she was the one who insisted on breaking the news herself.

 

“Seven Hells!” She slammed on her breaks and swerved her car to the right as a boy walked calmly into the middle of the freeway. When she came to a stop she looked behind her to see that he was still standing there. She rolled down the window to yell at him.

“What the fuck are you doing? Are you trying to get yourself killed?”

The boy looked at her strangely, “My name is Reek it rhymes with freak.”

“Oh, Reek that’s a nice name? Please get off the road before someone has to scrape off your remains with a shovel.”

“All men must die. Quickly now Lady Sansa needs you.”

Dark stared at him with an open mouth, “what the fuck did you just say?”

“Lady Sansa of House Stark. She sent me for you, hurry now before it’s too late.” He ambled off the road and back toward an ominous looking corn field. Suddenly her puppy wiggled out of the seat next to her and jumped through the window chasing after him.

“Puppers wait! Get back here!” Dark, took off running after her puppy, a sick sense of foreboding settling in her stomach.

 

She lost the strange Reek boy and her puppy in the corn field, she tried to turn around but the corn seemed to block her path, it wouldn’t let her go back. Every time she tried it would push her back. The sound of a little girl screaming caught her attention and she went charging toward the sound. As she cleared through a few rows of corn she saw a little girl being pinned down by a man wearing a wolf mask.

Dark didn’t think twice before she tacked him into the dirt. They grappled in the ground as he tried to strangle her. She got the upper hand when she bit his arm and ripped off his mask. Only it wasn’t a mask at all, it was the head of a wolf sown onto a human body. _There’s no blood. God’s, why is there no blood? I didn’t mean to kill him._ A smaller dark haired girl she hadn’t seen jumped on the back of the dead man and began stabbing his corpse with a vengeance a small bloody knife held between two chubby hands.

“You killed the King of the North.” She looked down in horror at the face of the little girl she helped save, she was looking at a ghost, a memory.

 

The girl looked exactly like Sansa did before she disappeared. Except she hadn’t aged a day and her hair wasn’t red, it was the color of corn silk. The smaller girl with a bloody smile looked up at her and she was the spitting image of Arya.

 

“I don’t... I don’t understand.”

“No you wouldn’t would you, you’re an outsider.” Reek and her puppy came strolling toward them. “The King is dead and Lady Stoneheart will be furious, we need to keep moving.” He picked up Sansa and began jogging away.

“Wait!” Dark, wasn’t about to let this stranger walk off with two little girls alone. She scooped up Puppers and ran after them. Nuzzling her face in the only thing that made sense anymore.

 

They came upon a clearing in the midst of a field. Two little dolls wearing skeleton masks were propped up on chairs with tea cups in their hands. Reek set Sansa down and she smoothed the ruffles on one of the dresses.

 

“Sweetling, what is this? Who are you?”

“I’m Sansa Stark of Winterfell and this Arya.” She motioned toward her little sister who stared at Dark, unblinking. “This is Reek, he’s our friend. He keeps us safe from the monsters.”

“But, you can’t be Sansa. My cousin disappeared ten years ago, she’d be seventeen now not seven. Are you her little sister perhaps? Did Catelynn have more children?” She wouldn’t doubt it, Cat loved having babies.

At the mention of Cat, the smaller girl covered her ears and began rocking. “Shhh, Arya it’s okay. I’ll keep you safe I promise.” Sansa kissed her sister’s forehead, “we don’t say her name any more.”

“Why?” Dark had never been so confused in her life. The aunt she remembered was warm and loving, her children would never be scared of her.

“Because she kills them. Every day she kills them, she hunts them down and kiss them and makes me watch. Everyday she cries to her god to bring them back and he answers her call for a terrible price. Arya doesn’t talk anymore.”

 

Dark stared at the dolls and reached a shaking hand toward one before recoiling. They weren’t dolls at all they were bodies, human bodies. She put her puppy down and sunk to her knees. _How was this even possible? What black magic could do something like this?_

 

“Who are you?” Reek was looking at her with tired broken eyes. One hand placed on Sansa’s shoulders, the other placed on Arya’s.

Dark looked at them and felt her heart break at the realization they had no idea who she was. “I’m Dark, I'm their cousin. I used to baby sit Sansa and Arya before—

Sansa shrugged, “I don’t remember. Every time we come back we remember less and less of the before time. I think I liked lemon cakes but I don't remember, I remember how she kills us though, I can remember that!” Sansa broke down and turned toward Reek for comfort.

“The before time?”

Reek looked at her and patted Sansa on the back, “before we came here. Before Lady Stoneheart, was chosen by the Lord of Light. Before the girls died a thousand deaths.”

"What happened to Uncle Ned?"

"Who's Uncle Ned?" 

Before Dark, could respond Reek held up a hand to silence her.

“We’ve been here too long, she’s found us.”

 

Arya stood in front of Sansa and Reek holding her knife out in front of her little body. Dark looked around for a weapon of some kind, she pushed one of the bodies off the iron chair and picked it up. Arya looked over her shoulder and gave her an odd little smile before turning back around. The corn stalks began moving and a creature that crawled out of the seven hells came charging out. It was her Aunt Cat, but it wasn't her Aunt Cat. 

This creature’s hair was white and brittle and she had deep claw marks in her face. Her throat had been slashed and thick congealed blood was slowly gurgling out. She looked at the corpse of the child on the ground and became enraged scratching and pulling out fistfuls of whatever hair she had left. Arya stepped toward her aggressively but she smacked the child sending her tumbling backwards.  

 

“Mama no!” Sansa rushed toward her sister wiggling out of Reeks grasp. The creature turned toward her attention toward Sansa, a crazed look in her eyes. Reek only stood back wringing his hands and muttering things about his name. 

“Get away from them you bitch!” Dark swung the iron chair and nailed Lady Stoneheart in the head. The creature crumpled in a ball. She rushed toward Arya relieved that the little girl only appeared to be knocked out and not dead.

 

Dark screamed as Lady Stoneheart grabbed her leg pulling her down to the ground. She tried kicking the bitch in the face but missed, the creature began climbing up her body hissing and coughing up thick black globs of blood on her clothes. Dark reached toward her pocket and pulled out her lighter, the one Joey shoved in there to keep her from smoking.She scrolled her thumb over the spark wheel and shoved the flame toward the woman who once baked her cookies and drove her and her sister to soccer practice. Lady Stoneheart screeched and let her go as her clothes caught on fire. Reek growled and stood up shoving Sansa, safely behind him.

 

“Keep them safe, Lady Dark of House Stark. For you are dark and full of terrors." 

 

With that he bull-rushed Lady Stoneheart knocking her into the cornfield and setting it ablaze. Smoke filled the air and Dark pulled herself up grabbing Arya and Sansa and running away from the flames, she was running toward the exit, running toward freedom, running out of this hell. They made it out of the field and crossed the empty highway before watching the whole field went up in flames. She was peeling out when she spotted a man crawling toward them a wolf pup tugging intently on his sleeve.

 

“Reek!”

 

She jumped out of the car and sprinted toward him, he was badly burned but she shoved him in the backseat and sped toward the hospital. She didn’t know how she was going to explain any of this but she had the girls and that’s what mattered. Sansa, was in the back seat stroking Reeks hair and crying softly and Dark hoped they were tears of joy.

 

Sansa and Arya’s names were later changed to Alayne and Nan Baelish. No one outside the immediate family ever knew of the girl’s true identities. They were raised in a house by the sea, far away from cornfields. The whereabouts of Ned, Robb, Bran and Rickon are still unknown. Did they perish in the corn field or did something far more sinister take them? Dark didn’t know, she wasn't sure she wanted to know. 

 

Not all mysteries need to be solved.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next short will be based on Little Shop of Horrors
> 
> https://youtu.be/jFENSU8CmZk
> 
> The first person to correctly guess the pairing will receive a musical cameo! How sharp :D
> 
> Hint: Everybody Loves Raymond, Full House, Arrested Development, The Simpsons
> 
> Hint 2: "Bela Lugosi's Dead"
> 
> Hint 3: Aloo, Banoffee, Homity, Rappie, Woolton
> 
> WE HAVE A WINNER!!!!
> 
> It was Lothar! A big shout out to SnowWhiteKnight :D
> 
> The clues were hard I know! Hint 1: TV Shows that all star famous twins! Hint 2: A subtle reminded this character is dead Hint 3: The names of pies!!!


	8. Little Shop of Horrors

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I own nothing Jon Snow

 

** Lothar/Sansa **

 

**"All I ever wanted was you and a sweet little house."**

Lothar sat in his office eating a slice of pie while looking over the program for tonight’s performance. He had been hired by The Vale Playhouse to direct their newest production “Little Shop of Horrors.” This was to be his big break, if he pulled this off The Frey name would be something people respected again, rather than mocked.

He’d cast every role personally. He’d decided early to cast the popular stage veteran Harrold Hardyng as the lead, a decision that had led him to nothing but trouble. Most recently when he had to bail him out of jail for solicitation of a prostitute, _a male prostitute_. It wasn’t all bad, the scandal alone had caused a spike in ticket sales and tonight they estimated a full house.  

The real gem of tonight’s production didn’t have anything to do with Harry the Arse, and everything to do with the debut of Sansa Stark. She was talented, tenacious, beautiful and everything his production needed to be a successful and it didn’t hurt that she was dynamite in the sack. She didn’t fuck him because she loved him or even to get the role, she deserved star treatment on her merits alone. The girl was simply attracted to power.

 

“Excuse me, Mr. Frey?” He looked up as Snow White, his stage manager poked her head through the door.

“Yes?”

“Robb Stark, is here to see you.”

He sighed and nodded, “send him in.” Robb came inside his small office and plopped into a chair like he was the King of the fucking North.

“What can I do for you Robb?”

“It’s Mr. Stark to you.” He bit back a sharp retort and reminded himself this shit head was not only the brother of the girl he was fucking but an investor as well. It wouldn’t do to antagonize him.

“My apologies Mr. Stark. How can I be of service?”  

“It’s about Sansa.” He nodded but said nothing, his father told him to always keep a cool head about him, probably the only good thing that mother fucker ever taught him. “I don’t think she’s right for the part.”

That caught his attention, he carefully leaned back and stared at him in confusion. “I assure you, not only is your sister perfect for the role of Audrey, she’s worked incredibly hard. She arrives early to the theatre and leaves late at night, I couldn’t ask for anything more from a performer.”

 

Lothar, looked at Robb as the boy shifted uncomfortably in his seat. He sighed and rubbed his hands over the very desk he’d fucked Sansa on less than hour ago. Gods, she could pull the most incredible contortionist moves. _I don’t think there are names for some of the positions we’ve fucked in._

 

“I’ve watched some of the rehearsals and I’m afraid she’s not right for the part. She doesn’t seem ready.”

“She’s never missed a cue, never missed a note and she knows the dialog backwards and forwards. I’m sorry but as the director I must insist that she is in fact ready.” He couldn’t believe Robb was pulling this shit on opening night.

“I think Talisa would be a much better choice for tonight’s performance.”

“Who?”

 

Lothar, hollered for Snow White to bring Sansa immediately, _this was an emergency_. Robb couldn’t wait to call Talisa and tell her the good news. The poor idiot had no idea his sister was going to kill him as soon as she learned what he was up to. He just hoped he would have front row seats to the biggest fight since The Viper VS The Mountain.

Sansa burst through the door wearing nothing but a white negligee with a sheer robe tied over it. Even though he knew it was part of her costume he couldn’t help but visualize fucking her in front of her brother. She knew he was looking and she even leaned over his desk pressing her cleavage into his face, licking her lips. It took everything he had to not kiss that lipstick right off her face.

His only saving grace was the head seamstress Dean, was currently attached to the back of Sansa adjusting her costume with a mouthful of pins. Apparently he’d interrupted a fitting. He had to hand it to the Supernatural loving costumer, nothing seemed to deter her, not even a sudden location change.

 

“What the fucks going on?” Snow White came walking in stuffing her mouth full of Sour Patch Kids. She offered Sansa one who took it eagerly. Was it his imagination or did Snow White’s hair look a little more _rumpled._

“Robb Stark is here.” Sansa folded her arms in front of her chest and raised an eyebrow. “He doesn’t want you to perform tonight. He doesn’t think your ready, apparently he wants someone named Talisa to perform in your stead.”

Snow White stated laughing and stuck her head out the door. “Hey Sandor come here, you need to hear this.” Sandor Clegane a stage hand came in adjusting his britches for some reason. “Robb wants to Lothar to fire Sansa opening night and give her spot to Talisa.”

“Isn’t that the stripper he met in Vegas?” Everyone looked down at Dean who merely shrugged at her own outburst and went about her business pinning up the hemline.

Sandor barked a laugh and Snow shook her head but Sansa only stood there as still as a statue, her hands clenched in tiny fists of rage. “Where is he?” _Gods, she’s beautiful when she’s was angry._

As if on cue Robb came bounding in the now cramped office dragging along a woman he could only presume to be the Vegas whore herself. “What the fuck Robb!” Sansa picked up a stapler and threw it at his head, he ducked, Talisa did not.

“Sansa!” Robb scolded his sister while he checked Talisa for wounds, her eye had already begun swelling shut, yet no one moved to get her any ice. “You can’t hurt her she’s my wife!”

“Your wife? Your wife! You only met her last month! What do you mean she’s your wife?” Sansa was sending death glares towards her brother and Snow began passing out more boxes of candy fascinated by the drama unfolding before all their eyes.

“Yes, she’s my wife and tonight she’s going to perform on stage so everyone can see how wonderful she is.”

“The only stage she’s going to perform on is the one that features a pole!” Sansa picked up a hole punch and chucked it at her brother who once again ducked causing Talisa to get nailed in the side of the face with it.

“If you don’t knock it off I’ll be forced to press charges!” Robb looked at the side of his wifes face and frowned, “are you okay bunny?” Lothar couldn't help but scoff and Snow and Dean thought it was downright hilarious, 

“You listen to me Robb Stark, I am not giving up the role of a lifetime to some two-bit whore you picked up in Vegas.”

“This company would go bankrupt without me!”

Sansa picked up a desk fan and chucked it at her brother, this time it nailed him but also smacked Talisa in the nose causing it to bleed. “You, arrogant piece of Direwolf shit! We don’t need your money and after tonight we’ll have investors lined up eating out of the palms of our hands.”

“Why because you’re dressed like a whore?”

 

Everyone gasped and Dean lunged at Robb, only being restrained by Snow White. It was one thing for him to insult his sister it was another thing to insult one of Dean’s masterpieces. Lothar stood up and grabbed Robb by the collar of his shirt and pulled him out the door. Sandor flung Talisa over his shoulder like a sack of flour and both men deposited the newlyweds outside on their asses.

 

Sansa glared at her brother and spoke with such a calm furry it made his heart race a little. “When I dress like a whore it’s because it’s a costume and I am an actress. When your wife dresses like a whore it’s because it’s her uniform and she's needed on stage so sweaty old men can shove cash up her ass.  See the difference?

 

With that final insult the theater company went back inside leaving a furious Robb and sobbing Talia out in the cold. Lothar tried to reach for Sansa and pull her in tightly but she slapped his hand away, she wasn’t in the mood which was a shame because her little outburst had certainly fired up his blood.

 

The play had been a complete success and thanks to Sansa, both Tywin Lannister and Stannis Baratheon became generous patrons of the arts. He’d lost his leading lady to the competition but it’s like the old saying goes:

 

The show must go on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next short will be based on Jeepers Creepers
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=akFUWf5xe6k
> 
> The first person to come up with the correct pairing gets one creepy cameo :D
> 
> Hint: Dis Pater, Mictlantecuhtli, Donn
> 
> Hint 2: "Somebody's Watchin Me"
> 
> WE HAVE A WINNER!!!!! 
> 
> It WAS Jaqen H'ghar :D
> 
> That Faceless Man fathfully serves the god of death. (Lucky God amiright) 
> 
> Everyone give a big shout out to AgNO3!!!


	9. Jeepers Creepers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I own nothing Jon Snow 
> 
>  
> 
> Silver!!! Your cameo was far too short for my liking! I'm giving you an even bigger role tomorrow :D
> 
> Ok ya'll tomorrow is a double post day so not only do I need your guesses but I'll need a little info upfront as well: 
> 
> Ready?
> 
> Your top 3 GOT crushes, Your dream vacation: beach, woods, dessert etc, Would you rather be a thief or a spy?

 

** Jaqen/Sansa **

 

**“You've got something it likes... one of you.”**

 

Sansa smiled as Jaqen’s arms wrapped tightly around her. She would know him anywhere, his hugs, his smell, the sound of his heart beat. He may be a man of many faces but he never really changed, not on the inside anyway. It was his most endearing quality, that and his sexy accent. Well, he could also do this one thing with his tongue that always left her begging for more. So maybe _that_ was his most enduring quality.   

 

“A woman is nervous; a man can feel her heart racing.” She melted into his arms, his breath hot on her neck sent shivers through her body.

“I’ve waited so long for this moment. What if he finds me unworthy of his gift?” He kissed her ear softly and she felt her tension melting away.

“Tonight the Many Faced God will awaken to feed. A woman has provided him with what he demands. A woman will receive his gift.”

“Thank you for staying with me, I’m not sure I could do this alone.”

“A woman is foolish to doubt her own courage but a man would happily stand by a beautiful woman’s side.” He tucked a lock of her hair behind her ear and kissed her neck, “A man would happily make love to a woman until she is too busy screaming his name to feel nervous.”

 

Suddenly the alarm went off overhead and Jaqen squeezed her hand. The Many Faced God had begun to stir. He was as grotesque as he was beautiful. He was to be feared and he was to be loved, emulated and worshipped. He was the father to all and the father to none, but most importantly he was _hungry._

 

“Time to check on the sacrifice.”

 

***

 

Cersei couldn’t believe her brother had gotten them into this mess. Sometimes she wondered why the gods even bothered to give him a spine. It’s not like he ever used it. Once again it was up to her to save their necks. She had to get home to her babies, her precious little cubs. It wouldn’t do to leave them alone with Joffrey for too long. No, it wouldn’t do at all.

They had were lying back to back on a cold cement floor, their hands and feet had been zip tied. She struggled trying to reach his back pocket, she knew he always kept a knife back there. She shifted her body around, wiggling her ass against his back, if this were any other place and time she might actually be turned on. How the fuck did this even happen? The last thing she remembered was sitting at home drinking a nice glass of wine.

 

 

“Jaimie get up!” She hissed at her twin, how could he still be asleep at a time like this she’d never know. “I said, get up!”

“Hmmm what?” He looked around groggily taking in their surroundings. “What happened?”

“We’ve been kidnapped you idiot! Mark my words this is the Martell’s doing.”

“Why would the Martell’s kidnap us?”

She rolled her eyes at his stupidity, “for money. They’ve always been jealous of our wealth and our prestige. They want a piece of it for themselves.”

“Cersei, we don’t have any money. Our company filed bankruptcy last month remember?”

Her jaw dropped, “No I don’t remember that! Who authorized that. Was it Tyrion? He’s always wanted to hurt the family.”

Jaimie sighed, “I think you were too busy getting drunk to pay attention.”

“How dare you!” He would pay for that, she wasn’t some alcoholic. She was nothing like her vile little brother.

“Cersei please! We can argue later we have to get out of these restraints!”

She gritted her teeth, “what do you think I’ve been trying to do?”  

 

***

 

Sansa smiled as she watched Cersei and Jaimie bickering, it was almost too easy. It must have been so frightening for them to wake up in a strange place feeling powerless, completely at the mercy of someone else. It was only fair after all, hadn’t she once been at their mercy? She was only going to show them the same kindness they had shown her.

 

“Is a woman ready?”

“Hit the lights my love.”

 

Jaqen hit the lights as their guests were struggling out of their bindings. Both froze and looked around with wide eyes taking in what they couldn’t see before. A back and white room full of death and torn off faces. The fear was evident as they took in their surroundings, she could smell their fear. Her god would smell it too. it was Cersei who screamed first having finally noticed the body hanging above them.

The corpse of Tywin Lannister had been suspended in the air with giant cables. His head had been removed and shoved firmly on a spike with his mouth open and his bloated tongue sticking out.

Sansa remembered when Joffrey forced her to look upon her own father’s head. Oh, how she had cried and begged for mercy, but there was none to be found. A lesson the Lannister twins would soon learn. She flipped a switch that opened the only door and watched as Jaimie took his sisters hand guiding her quickly outside, shielding her from the horrors above.

No one had taken Sansa’s hand when she was in trouble, no one had shielded her from the horrors that surrounded her. The two needed to be split up, they were stronger together and she couldn’t have that. She flipped the lights and watched as the room darkened yet again, the door that led to the freedom shut in their faces leaving them trapped.

 

She nodded toward Jaqen who picked up a microphone. “A man must stay so a woman can leave.”

“I’m going to kill you for this, you and everyone you’ve ever loved!” Cersei was trying to sound threatening but she only managed to sound like a frightened child. She wasn't even sure what direction to tell at. She was just spinning in circles. 

“A woman knows nothing of love but she will know of death. She will beg for it before the end.” Sansa shifted uncomfortably, the mere idea that Jaqen was threatening her mortal enemy was making her wet.

 

 

***

 

Cersei needed to get out of here she needed to get to her babies. Jaime tried to hold her back when the door opened but she only slapped him across the face. He was always making things difficult. If he was any kind of man he would make it out of this hell hole on his own, she wouldn’t always be there to carry him along.

 

“You can’t go it could be a trap!”

“Get the fuck off me Jaimie. I am getting out of here with or without you.” She brandished the pocket knife and waved him off. “I’ll go! Please open the door, Jaimie can stay here.”

“Cersei don’t go! We are a team, we are stronger together!”

“Get off me!”

 

The door opened and she shoved Jaime backwards before stepping through the black void and into the unknown. She never looked back, Jaimie was always the weakest one, it sickened her. She could here her brother pounding on the door begging her to come back but she ignore his pathetic pleas. In the wilderness it was the lioness who hunted while the man sat around doing nothing. She was a predator not prey and someone would feel how sharp her claws really were.

 

 

***

 

Sansa moaned as Jaqen went down on her, licking, biting and sucking sending her into an absolute frenzy. She climaxed to the sounds of Cersei screaming, she’d found the corpse of Joffrey in the hallway. Shot, stabbed and decapitated, just like Robb was. She hoped Cersei appreciated the lion head she’d sown onto his corpse in place of his own. It seemed only fitting after all. Gods, she could come again and again to those heart wrenching screams of despair.

Jaimie was pounding on the door until his hands bled, that wouldn’t do at all. She needed him healthy and strong for what was to come. She signaled for Silver  to come in with a tranquilizer dart gun. It was time for a little surgery, If Bran couldn’t walk anymore why should he. It seemed only fair he share the same fate of the boy he tried to murder. The North remembers after all.

 

“Hello Jaime. My name is Dr. Targaryen and you and I are going to spend a great deal of time together. I hope you’re as excited as I am.”

 

Silver’s team hoisted him onto a table where they began prepping him for surgery, Sansa was desperate to watch but she needed to check on Cersei, had she found the exit yet or was she still weeping over precious prince? Oh, the horrors she had yet to endure it was enough to make her wet all over again.

 

***

 

 _They’ve killed my boy, my precious boy_.

 

He was the light of her life her angel. A child born out of love not necessity. He was a true Lannister, strong, unafraid and daring. He wasn’t weak like her other two gentle cubs. Joffrey was a natural born leader, a son any mother would be proud of and they had taken him away from her.

 

_I will burn them for this. I will burn them all._

She ran blindly toward the exit falling and scraping her knees once she exited. Somehow she'd fallen into muddy brook. She had tripped over something, not something, someone. She looked at the blond hair floating in the water and screamed as she turned her daughter over. Her throat had been slashed to the bone and her naked body dumped in the filthy water _. Just like Catelyn._

 

Cersei clawed at her face and screamed up at the sky before she was knocked unconscious and dragged back inside.

 

***

 

“Gods, Jaqen more!”

“A woman is so wet.”

“Harder, faster!”  

 

Her lover was currently fucking her against a window. Their naked bodies were currently smashed against the glass partially fogging it up with their breath. With one final thrust he ejaculated into her before leaning back to catch his breath. Tommen was staring at them wide eyed, too curious to look away from the first pair of breasts he'd ever seen. He'd probably never even seen a porno. Sansa winked at the sweet sixteen year old before he quickly looked away blushing. 

She and Jaqen quickly put on their clothes and slipped downstairs. It was time for the finale.

 

Sansa walked toward Cersei smelling like sex and carrying a bottle of wine. “Confess.” She poured it on Cersei’s face to wake the whore up. Cersei, gasped and tried to move but she was strapped down to a table. “Confess.”

“You.” Cersei spat at her but Sansa just laughed and poured more wine over her body.

“Confess your crimes Cersei Lannister. You have an audience anxious to hear your confession.”  She waved her hand at Jaime who was staring at her in horror as Silver sliced open his back. Sansa, also waved toward Tommon who stood in the middle of the floor too stunned to move.

“You leave my son alone you bitch.”

“Confess.” Sansa poured more wine on her face. “You killed your husband because it felt good, you fucked your own twin because it felt good and you butchered my family because it felt good.” She poured the remainder of the wine on Cersei’s face.

“Yes! Yes, I did it all and I would gladly do it again. Please just let my son go I don’t care about myself only him.”

Sansa turned to look at a petrified Tommen. “You heard your mother she’d do anything for you." She walked over to him and caressed his cheek. "I know my mother would do anything for me if she were still alive, but, she’s not." She Kissed him on the lips pressing her body into his. She moved his hand to cup her breast. 

"Let go of him, you whore!"

Sansa released Tommen from the kiss. "Your mother killed everyone I love. The Lannisters aren't the only ones who pay their debts." Tommen, collapsed before her and she stepped over his corpse as Cersei screamed. 

"Tommen, No! You killed my babies."

"A woman killed her own children. Sansa Stark merely gave the boy the same wine you gave to his father." 

 

 

 

Cersei wept as Sansa and Jaqen kissed passionately. She went down on him then,  teasing and pleasuring him before their audience. Cersei couldn't keep her eyes away and even Jaimie who was still conscious looked at the two lovers with a sense of wonder mixed with horror. Her lover was so worked up it didn't take long before she was swallowing his sperm. The sounds of Cersei's screams were just as much of a turn on for him as they were for her. There was a fine line between passion and pain and they crossed it often as long as it was someone else's pain. 

Jaqen handed her a carving knife and she carefully used it to remove Tommen's still beating heart. She prayed The Many Faced God would be pleased and she carried the heart over to Cersei. Placing it on the woman's chest. It was almost poetic really, that a mother would feel the last heart beats of a child. 

 

“Kill me, please.” Cersei choked out in a broken whisper. “I’m ready to die.”

Jaqen “Kill you? A woman will not today. All men must die but first a woman will serve."

"Cheer up Cersei, you've been chosen to bear witness to a god."

 

 

 

Cersei screamed and Jaime let out a loan moan as The Many Faced God appeared. Sansa and Jaqen bowed their head before their lord, showing the respect he deserved. He placed a cool hand upon her head and whispered his sacred blessing in her ear. She was now immortal, she was to be the right hand of death and Jaqen the left. She hugged her lover and he spun her around the room before scooping her up. They paused to hear the sweet words their god spoke to his sacrifice.   


 

**“Shame.”**

 

Cersei screamed.

 

**“Shame.”**

 

Cersei screamed again.

 

**“Shame.”**

 

Cersei screamed some more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tomorrows short will be based on Pet Cemetary
> 
> The first person to correctly guess the pairing will get a spooktacular cameo! To be shared with Silver of course :D
> 
> Hint: Corvus
> 
> WE HAVE A WINNER!!!!!
> 
> It was my favorite crow Edd!! A big shout out to Goldenandbeloved :D
> 
> I know some of you already guessed BUT I wanted to give a lovely cameo to someone who hadn't had one yet ;) 
> 
> Y'all will get a big shoutout though WOOT WOOT


	10. Pet Cemetery

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I own nothing Jon Snow
> 
>  
> 
> Get ready for some more updates my little witches, goblins and ghouls!

 

 

** **

 

 

** Edd/Sansa **

 

**The soil of a man's heart is stonier, Louis. A man grows what he can, and he tends it. 'Cause what you buy, is what you own. And what you own... always comes home to you.**

 

 

 

Edd was the first to receive the raven. Ironic since he hated birds, they were always sitting around judging him and shitting all over the place. He was lucky they never pecked his eyes out. He once had a cousin who was attacked by an owl, it scratched his face up so badly he was missing an eye and they all called him Winky.

He sighed and went to go find Jon. It was freezing outside, the castle was full of goat fucking wildlings and his own brothers were primed for a revolt so naturally he’d been promoted to errand boy. Not that he’d complain, he simply loved walking outside freezing his balls off looking for their Lord Commander who was probably sulking in front of nice warm fire in his nice warms furs.

 

He knocked on Jon’s door and entered before he summoned. The commander was sulking in front of the fire with his large Direwolf napping peacefully next to him. “Comfortable?”

Jon smirked at him and nodded. “What have you brought me?”

“A message from a raven. Not sure where it came from exactly.”

“Read it to me.”

“Yes, lord commander. It would be my pleasure. I live to serve.”

Jon rolled his eyes, “just read it.”

 

**Lady Sansa has returned to Winterfell, sold to the Boltons by Lord Baelish hisself. Do you not hear her screams all the way to the wall? Do you not feel the anger of your father and brothers calling out to you for justice from beyond the grave? You may have forgotten her but the North remembers.**

Ghost woke up and nuzzled the parchment before letting out a pitiful whine. Jon sat back in his chair and sighed, he looked like Jeor Mormont then, a man older than his years. Edd looked down at the parchment and frowned. The Boltons liked flaying people alive there was no telling what horrors the Stark girl was enduring at the moment.

 

“Sansa left to Winterfell to become the future Queen.”

“What do you propose to do?”

“I want you to go to Winterfell and free my little sister.”

Edd stared at Jon and blinked, _he can’t be serious._ The look on Jon’s face said he was deadly serious. “How do you propose I do that?”

“You're clever you’ll figure it out. You can take Silver with you and some other spear wives. I’ll also allow Ghost to accompany you as well.”

“You want me to bring Wildlings to your ancestral home?”

“They prefer the term Free Folk.” Edd shrugged his shoulders and prepared to leave before Jon stopped him. “If you can’t free her than I want you to kill her. It would be seen as a kindness.”

He merely shrugged his shoulders in response, “I wonder if she’ll see it as a kindness.”

 

*******

 

Sansa stood in her room, in her prison. That bastard had taken everything from her but he hadn’t taken her life, not yet anyway. She only prayed the raven had reached Castle Black in time. Her maid Beloved, had promised to send word to her brother, who knew Myranda would have such an agreeable little sister? Something in her eyes mirrored Sansa’s own she knew they had both seen much.

 

She rushed the door as she heard the key turn in the lock. Beloved smiled as she entered handing her a bundle of warm, thick winter clothing. “Here we are m’lady. I’ll help you dress for our escape. We should have enough provisions to last us to the wall.”

“Thank you Beloved.” Sansa quickly undressed and hissed as her companion changed her bandages with clean wraps and ointments. “I never asked why you agreed to help me.”

Beloved was silent for a while as she helped her into a thick woolen shift working quickly and deftly. “Because I reckon you’re the Queen of The North now and I’d rather be a friend of the Queen than the enemy of one.”

Sansa scoffed slightly, “I’m not the Queen of anything and what’s the real reason?”

Beloved’s hands poised and she whispered softly. “I hate him.” Hate was something she knew well, some days it was the only thing she had left.

 

Beloved, took her hand firmly in hers as they made their way toward the crypts. Sansa lit the candle and placed it in the palm of the statue carved in the image of her aunt. If anyone understood the plight of woman raped nd abused it would be her. She and Beloved slit their palms, singing the old forgotten hymns of The North. They smeared blood on their stomach’s and on Lyanna’s as well. A tear slid down her stony cheek and they knew the bargain had been made.

They held hands as the ground shook below them before splitting open to reveal a glowing chasm that filled them both with a mixture of envy and fear. They heard some muffled growling before Lady and Grey Wind clawed their way out of the ground. They looked as they did before they had been killed but their eyes were different, instead of warmth they radiated a dangerous hunger.

 

“Lady!” She  threw her arms around her beautiful wolf, Lady did not respond merely sniffing her hair faintly before letting out a low warning growl. Sansa wiped the tears from her eyes,  “don’t you remember me?”

“M’lady I think you should get away from her!” Beloved’s voice came out shrilly as she began backing away, Grey Wind’s hackles raised as he took a step toward her companion.

“Grey Wind, no! I command you to leave her alone!” Sansa scolded her brothers dead Direwolf and he huffed back in annoyance. “If you want fresh meat there is plenty outside. Kill anything wearing Bolton armor.”

 

The wolves growled low before licking their chops and racing outside to the surprised screams of men. She and Beloved exited to the crypts to the sight of blood and chaos she felt her companion stiffen beside her as Myranda and Reek stood blocking their path a furious expression on both their faces.

 

Myranda drew her bow and pointed it at Sansa, “I’m here to escort you back to your room m’lady.” She looked at Beloved and grinned menacingly, “how thoughtful my baby sister is here to accompany you as well. I’m sure Ramsay would love to thank her in his own _special_ way.”

“I’m not going anywhere with you,” Sansa said defiantly, her wolves weren’t the only ones with teeth. She thought she saw something white and moving in the corner of her eye.

“Please, San… Sansaaa. Do… do what she says.” The white blur wasn’t her imagination at all it was Ghost and he was slowly creeping up behind Myranda.

“Theon you’ve betrayed my family for the last time. I want you both to know I will enjoy hearing your screams as you die.”

 

With that Ghost leapt onto Myranda’s back shoving her against an ice pick, it pierced her skull and Sansa watched as her body twitched once before sliding down the wall leaving a trail of blood behind her. Lady and Greywind had also appeared with several bolts sticking out of them hungrily snapping at Theon. 

 

"Ho...how?"

“You should no best Theon, what is dead may never die." She stroked Ghosts soft fur as he licked her fingers eyeing Lady and Grey Wind warily. "I want you to run Theon, run as my brothers ran full of fear. Run! Ghost is coming for you." Ghost bared his teeth and Theon took off running screaming for his master while Lady and Grey Wind stood patiently by her and Beloved’s side.

 

*******

 

Edd and Silver came stalking around the bend in time to see Ghost chase some sort of urchin across the yard. A beautiful young maiden with hair kissed by fire stood next to two direwolves who didn’t look at all natural. She turned her head toward him and he swore he had never seen anything so beautiful in all his life. If he died now he'd be a happy man indeed. So of course he didn't because good things never happened to him, No, the girl launched herself into his arms sobbing. _I was always good at making girls cry._

A beautiful girl was hugging him. A beautiful, frightened girl was hugging him and he didn’t know what to do. His mind went completely blank as he awkwardly patted her back. People did that right? They patted each other on their backs? Gods, it had been so long he wasn’t sure. He was sure this was against his vows somehow but fuck it if Jon could have some wildling company why couldn't he? 

 

 

“Well, well, well. What do we have here?” He felt her shrink back and he placed himself carefully in front of her as he drew his sword to look into the eyes of a dark haired boy with a twisted smile. “Here I come home from battle only to find my wife in the arms of another man.”

“Ramsay fucking Snow. I’ve been looking forward to this.” Actually he hadn’t been looking forward to this at all but since when did he get what he wanted?

“That’s Lord Bolton to you.”

“You can give a pile of shit a fancy title, it doesn’t change the fact that it’s still a pile of shit.” Why did he never write down his insults? That was a good one.

“I’m going to enjoy killing you.”

“Scarier men than you have threatened me boy and I’m still alive.”

Ramsay chuckled, “I don’t imagine there is anyone as scary as me.”

Edd lifted his sword and smirked. “You lack imagination.”

 

Ramsay swung at him but he was able to duck easily enough. He was able to bob, weave and duck but as he felt himself tiring he couldn’t shake the feeling that the bastard was merely toying with him. Of course he was, the shit was treating him no better than life at this point. “Maester’s balls!” He grunted as Ramsay sliced through his arm like butter causing his sword to drop. “Your nothing but a pig fucking Bolton Bastard.” Ramsay glared at him before he was swarmed by three massive wolves. Silver, dragged him away complaining about heavy he was. _I’m dying and here she is calling me fat!_

 

*******

 

Sansa felt foolish, she thought the man dressed in black was Jon at first that's why she had clung to him. If Ghost was here that meant Jon was close but she would worry about that later as she watched the ranger square off against Ramsay with courage she had only read about in stories. He was like a true Knight defending a lion from a monster and for a minute she watched her favorite childish fantasies come to life.

Of course she had no intention of letting him die, the Boltons had taken too much from her already. They wouldn’t take this brave man too. Ghost had already silently returned, his muzzle stained with the blood of treacherous Kraken. She signaled for her wolves to attack as soon as Ramsay sliced through the ranger’s arm.

 

The wolves all looked at her expectantly after they pinned her _husband_ down.  “Make him suffer.” They howled and Ramsay pissed himself. It was a beautiful sight. 

 

The wolves didn’t disappoint her, they never did. Lady bit Ransay’s jaw bone wrenching it off with her massive jaws. Grey Wind bit his leg twisting it until it splintered and protruded from the skin. Ghost split open his stomach ripping and feasting on his intestines slowly. When she could stomach no more she turned toward the member of the Nights Watch as his Wildling woman.   

 

***

She was watching him he could feel her piercing blue eyes on him.  “My apologies Lady Sansa, My name’s Edd, well actually Eddison Tollet, or Dolorus Edd if you’d prefer. This here’s Silver she and your brother are _close_.” Silver slapped him in his bad arm and he winced.   

“Edd?”

“Yes, Edd will do just fine.”

“I am Lady Sansa of House Stark.”

“Jon will be happy to know you're alive and well. I;m sure he's looking forward to seeing you again. I know if I had a sister as pretty as you, I’d be happy to see her.”

She looked at him strangely. “Thank you Edd—

“Not that I’d be a sister fucker or that Jon is. He’s fucking this one.” He pointed to Silver who punched his wound again, this time harder. “Ouch!" He glared at the wildling bitch with a mean punch before continuing. "All I'm saying is that you have a very pretty face and if you’d seen my sister you’d know she looked more like a cross between a donkey in heat and a really ugly bed beetle so I’m sure Jon would be delighted to see you again.”

 

 

Lady Sansa giggled and he’d guessed it had been a long time since anyone had given her a reason to smile. It was such a beautiful sound he vowed to make her laugh as often as possible. After every last Bolton man had been slayed or surrendered he watched as two wolves crept back underground their coats coated with the blood of the fallen. He had never seen anything like it, the last time the dead had risen it had been the worst day of his life. Did Lady Sansa have power over the dead? Could she force them back underground like she did the wolves? 

They sent word to the Wall that the Bolton’s had fallen and once again the Stark banners flew. Jon resigned from his command turning it over to Alliser and left with the Wildlings to march toward Winterfell. Apparently he was tired of all the whining, complaining and abstinence the Night Watch provided. He wanted Silver and by the gods he was going to steal her away and he did. Alliser let Edd go as well along with all the remaining brothers who were loyal to Jon. It was fine by them.

A few months later Beloved ended up bagging herself a one handed Lannister who was fleeing Kings Landing with his tale tucked between his legs. Not that he blamed him they called her Cersei the Mad for a reason. With tales of dragons and white walkers filling every inn and tavern he was thankful he could curl up next to The Lady of Winterfell every night. There was gossip about it of course but as long as there was a Stark in Winterfell no one really cared too much. The other lords viewed her as used goods and Edd called them all idiots. 

 

Sansa once asked him if he found her scars ugly. He didn't mind her scars one bit, he thought they made her look beautiful if anything he was the ugly one. Hopefully their future children would look like her and not him and his family of ugly cunts. Knowing his luck they'd look like Tollet's for sure. _God's, dammit._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next short will be based on The Loved Ones 
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cb5BFm4qIow
> 
> The first person to correctly guess the pairing wins a prom-tastic cameo! YAY!!!!!!
> 
> Hint: Daddy Issues
> 
> WE HAVE A WINNER!!!! 
> 
> It was Petyr! Just call him Daddy I hear he likes it ;)
> 
> Great job Gingerpie :D


	11. The Loved Ones

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I own nothing Jon Snow 
> 
>  
> 
> Ug! Sorry this is so late! Ever get one of those migraines that wipes you out completely?
> 
> Blech :(

 

** **

 

** Petyr/Sansa **

**“The trick is not to go too far. Just enough to break through the skull.”**

 

Sansa had everything a girl could ask for but she wasn’t happy. She had money, popularity, a loyal best friend and a gorgeous boyfriend. _Ex-boyfriend,_ she thought miserably as she watched Harry receive a blowjob from Myranda Royce underneath the bleachers while his friends all looked on whooping and hollering.

 

“Gods, is there anyone in school she hasn’t fucked yet?” Ginger remarked with a sly smile, Sansa hadn’t even heard her cousin come up next to her. “I guess after Marg ran away to be with Joff someone had to take up the mantle of being the schools biggest whore.”

“It’s not just Myranda, Harry’s just as guilty.”

“True, they don’t call him Harry the Arse for nothing.”

Sansa looked at her cousin skeptically, “they call him that?”

Ginger smirked, “they will now.”

 

 

 

Ginger held her hand as they stepped into Petyr's luxury car. She sat down in a huff and placed her head in her hands and screamed while her cousin began madly texting texting anyone and everyone they knew. When the car pulled up to the estate she refused to leave until her cousin bribed her with promises of gourmet lemon cakes.

 

“Sweetling!” Petyr rose to greet her as she trudged through the door tossing her book bag and shoes haphazardly to the side. “Something the matter?”

Ginger answered for her which was a blessing since she would only use the colorful language that her mother detested. “Harry the Arse happened, we caught that douche bag red handed, getting a blow job from that whore _Myranda_ right after school.”

Petyr frowned, “I see. I’ll take care of it.” Her cousin held her hand triumphantly at the news. “Ginger, while you’re here the most interesting thing happened last night. Security cameras caught Gendry climbing out of your bedroom window.”

Ginger turned bright red, “Oh, really? That is interesting you see… well, we were… studying? And I guess he fell asleep?”

“I see, how studious of you. Here is a key to the guest house, perhaps you two could _study_ in there? It would be scandalous for anyone to find footage of a grown man climbing out the window of a _teenage_ girl would it not?”

“Uncle Petyr, he’s only twenty-one.”

“And you are only sixteen. Take the key before I change my mind and pass along that video to your father. It’s been ages since I’ve seen Edmure, perhaps we could catch up.”

Ginger grabbed the keys before he could change his mind. “No, that’s okay! I’d hate to bother him. I’m happy to study in the guest house with my _tutor_.” Sansa chuckled as her cousin ran out the door like she was on fire.

 

When they were finally alone Petyr sat down on a comfortable chair and patted his lap. Sansa obediently did as she was bid by climbing on top hand snuggling against him. They had always been close, he understood her like no one else except for perhaps Ginger. On her eleventh birthday he gave her backstage passes to see her favorite singer Dany Stormborn and The Dragons while her father had only given her some stupid doll he picked up at the _mall._

That was the day she realized the universe had short changed her and given her to the wrong father. Petyr listened to her, he cared about the things she cared about and he took the time to get to know her. Her father on the other hand pushed her to be with Joffrey a cruel boy who loved to hit and terrorize her. Her father was never there for her but Petyr was, he was the daddy she turned to in times of need.

 

“Tell me everything Sweetling.” Petyr murmured in her hair as he rubbed soothing circles in her lower back. “Hold nothing back.”  

“Oh daddy, it was awful, she was sucking his cock and wouldn’t stop! He tried to explain that this was some kind of big misunderstanding and I was overreacting.” She shook her head angrily remembering every vivid detail, “he had the nerve to tell me this while he was blowing his load in her mouth!”

“Shh, my my pet, shh. It’s going to be alright, you’ll see.” He cupped her chin and looked deep into her eyes. “What do I do to those who hurt the ones I love?”

She smiled at him, “you make them pay, daddy.”

“Yes, baby doll, I make them pay.”

 

She kissed him chastely on the lips doing her best to ignore the electricity she always felt between them. It wouldn’t do to indulge in such fantasies with her mother only a few feet away sleeping peacefully on the sofa. Petyr urged her to stand before he made his way to the office only stopping dutifully to cover his wife with a blanket as he passed by. Sansa wished she could find a husband as loving as that one day. She'd happily take Petyr off her mothers hands if need be, she didn't he would mind. 

Later that evening Sansa sat in front of her mirror with her eyes closed as her mother hummed a lullaby and brushed her hair. These were the moments she loved the most, when it could be just the two of them. Thank the gods, Petyr had taken the initiative and shipped all her annoying siblings off to military school as soon as he married her mother _._ Those ingrates could have had anything they wanted but all they wanted to do was complain about their mother remarrying so soon after her father’s death.

They actually had the audacity to refuse to call him daddy, prefering to call him Little Fucker instead. They tried to make his life a living hell but no one was as terrible as Arya. Her sister actually lit his designer suits on fire which quickly caught the wardrobe on fire and then the master bedroom. Sansa had been trapped upstairs and almost died of smoke inhalation by the time Ginger broke down the door with Gendry and rescued her. Petyr had been _furious,_ that was the last time she saw her siblings _._ _Good riddance._

 

She heard a knock on the door and rose to open it, smiling when she saw Petyr on the other side looking rather dashing. He held out a corsage for her and slipped it on while she giggled lightly and her mother took photos. She was wearing a designer dress that Petyr had purchased for her and diamonds that were on loan from The Sons of the Harpy Jewelers. She truly felt like a princess from a storybook. 

Her eyes widened when she saw the decorations downstairs. Her entire home had been turned into a miniature prom.There were Christmas lights strung everywhere, balloons dancing along the ceiling and the furniture had been cleared away revealing a lovely dance floor. The only thing missing was DJ Hodor in the corner spinning his records.

 

“Daddy it’s beautiful. I love it!” She kissed him more firmly on the mouth than she had in the past but he didn’t seem to mind, she licked her lips slightly he tasted like mint.

“Would you like to say hello to our guest of honor?” She squealed in delight as he took her by the hand and guided her into the living room where her ex was bound to a chair.

“Harry?” Her ex blinked groggily at his surroundings his eyes going wide when they landed on Sansa.

“Harry, you need to tell Sansa she looks nice. Women always enjoy a compliment.” Petyr remarked firmly.

“Sansa?” He blinked slowly taking everything in. “Where… where am I?”

“You’re at the prom silly.” She giggled and made a few funny faces as her mother took some more pictures. “Smile for the camera!” Harry did not comply he would pay for that.

“Mrs. Baelish?” Her mother ignored Harry of course only taking a few more pictures before sitting down on a chair and gnawing on a cloth napkin. Petyr gently took it away from her and gave her a toddlers teething ring instead.

“She can’t hear you! **”** Sansa and Petyr remarked in unison together before laughing..

Harry stared at them wide eyed while their mother began licking her hands like tiny paws. “Gods, what’s wrong with her!”

“How dare you! Nothing is wrong with mother, in fact she’s never been better!” Harry stared at her disbelievingly which only irritated her more. “Daddy, Harry made fun of mother I think he should be punished for it.”

 

Petyr nodded and stood, grabbing a steak knife and a hammer off the table. He carefully pulled off Harry’s shoe and sock before placing the tip of the blade onto his foot and smirking before driving the blade through the foot with his hammer. Harry screamed and Sansa rewarded her Daddy with a kiss, this time she brushed his lower lip with her tongue. She could feel him rumble with pleasure before her date interrupted him with his incessant chatter.    

 

“What did you do to her?” Harry was sobbing quietly as Petyr pulled the chair out for her and she sat down placing her cloth napkin gently in her lap like a proper lady.

“Daddy, this looks delicious.” He had arranged for all her favorite foods to be placed on the table and she helped herself to some coconut glazed shrimp before turning her attention back to her date. “Mother here, wasn’t very happy with how close daddy and I became.”

Petyr sighed and took a sip of Arbor Gold, “Cat, found Sansa sunbathing naked by the pool while I was massaging lotion into her _thighs_.”  

“Unlike my mother he actually cares about me getting skin cancer. If this was Europe it would be no big deal.” Sansa huffed, as she took another bite of the delicious shrimp. Petyr nodded in agreement.

“My wife threatened to leave me and take everything. She called me terrible names that I do not care to repeat here in front of my daughter. I simply couldn’t have that, not after I’d invested so much in her and her _children_.”

“He means me.” Sansa beamed at Petyr who took her hand gently in his rubbing the back of her hand with his thumb. “Daddy, brought in Dr. Qyburn for a little consultation.”

“Yes princess I did.” He kissed her hand while Harry looked on in disgust. “The lobotomy cost a fortune but she’s been so much more manageable ever since.” Sansa nodded in agreement and helped herself to a kale salad.

 

Dinner was magical, she and Petyr talked amiably while Harry sat in his chair crying. It got so bad that Petyr was forced to cover her dates head with a sack. When Sansa took a bite of the chocolate covered strawberries she started making obscene noises. She didn’t really care if she sounded like a whore in heat, the berries were positively _sinful._ She fed one to Petyr and blushed as he licked the chocolate off her fingers sucking on her finger playfully.

 

“Petyr.”

“Please, call me daddy.”

“Daddy.”

 

Suddenly Petyr’s lips crashed into hers and his hands unzipped her dress letting it fall casually to the floor. She ripped off Harry’s hood she wanted him to watch her, to see everything he could never have. She wanted him to feel what she felt when Myranda was sucking his dick, angry, disgusted and powerless to stop it.

Petyr ate her out on the dining room floor with Harry looking on with a slack jaw. She arched her back and moaned for her daddy while gripping the steak knife protruding in her dates foot as she orgasmed. While she had read about such things in Cosmo she had never experienced such bliss herself, she felt warm, fuzzy and lightheaded, like she was floating on clouds. The fact that she had twisted the knife deeper into Harry’s foot in her moment of passion was an added bonus.

 

“Smile Sansa.” She looked up and giggled as her mother took another picture of them post coitus. She’d almost forgotten she was there. “Naughty girl, did you enjoy daddy licking your pussy?”

“Yes daddy, can we do that again?” She smiled shyly at him before he kissed her lips, she could taste herself on him and knew she wanted more. 

“Of course sweetling, you know I could never deny you anything.”  

 

Somehow Harry broke out of his bonds and ripped the knife out of his bleeding foot before slashing Petyr across the face, she watched in frozen horror as blood poured down his face. Harry tried to limp away as she put a cloth napkin against her daddy’s wound before chasing after the bastard with only one thing on her mind. _Retribution._ She cornered him the hallway before she performed a roundhouse kick knocking him flat on his back. She and Petyr dragged him back to the chair and secured his hands tighter, it wasn't easy with him fighting every step of the way.  

 

Once secured she dropped to her hands and kneed and crawled toward Harry her breasts brushing against the floor. She slid up his legs and looking at him with her head tilted to the side. “Harry, you let that filthy whore suck on your dick today right in front of me, didn’t you?” She unzipped his pants with her teeth and gently eased his penis out with her hand. “Did you like watching daddy eat me out?” She could feel his hard dick twitch in her hand. “You did, didn’t you. I bet you wished it was you licking my pussy and making me moan didn't you?"

“Gods, yes! Your fucking twisted but i would still fuck you bloody right here if you'd let me."

She looked at him with utter disgust, “Daddy, would you be so kind?” She jerked her hand away as Petyr swung his hammer down on Harry’s now exposed and hardened dick. They watched him scream in terror as blood and fluid sprayed everywhere before he slumped over in his chair.

 

“You were wonderful sweetling.”

“Thank you daddy, you taught me everything I know.”

He chuckled in her ear and fondled her breast, “There is so much more I’d like to teach you. Now smile for the camera.”

 

Harry the Arse was now without a penis, well not in the traditional sense anyway. She and Petyr opened the cellar door and looked down to see four sets of eyes blinking back up at her. There was Joffrey the boy who loved to beat her and Margaery the girl that tried to shove her hands down Sansa’s underwear at a slumber party. Their emaciated bodies were huddled together for warmth in the corner.

She glared at Ramsay the bastard that tried to rape her after school last year and Theon his friend who stood there and did nothing to stop it. Those two were chained together against the wall growling at her like a couple of wild dogs. She had enjoyed breaking them and she suspected Petyr did too.

 

“Dinner time my pets!”

 

She kicked Harry’s body down the shaft and watched as they all fought to tear him bits. The darkness and isolation seemed to have driven them all mad and she was a little surprised Joffrey was still alive. She supposed true monsters were hard to kill. She felt someone poke her on her back and she turned to look at Ginger who was currently dressed like a sexy firefighter.

 

“I found Aunt Cat wandering outside again.” She tugged her mother over and Sansa shook her head and passed her to Petyr who took her upstairs to her room.

“Ginger, do you ever miss her?”

“Who?”

“My mother.”

“Gods, no. That woman used to call me Edmure’s little bastard. I was the shame of the family remember? When I was five I told her I wanted to be a dancer and she told me I was too young to be a stripper. No, I don’t miss her at all. This one is much better, even if she does wander a bit. Now, if you’ll excuse me there is a sexy fireman who needs me to check on his hose." She watched her cousin walk away before shouting one last time over her shoulder, "Gendry found you a date to the Prom! His name is Hot Pie, he's no looker but he loves ballroom dancing.

 

Sansa smiled, she could work with that. She ran upstairs to tell her daddy the good news. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next short will be based on The Invasion 
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lTEJ4M8Oepc
> 
> The first person to correctly guess the pairing wins an out of this world cameo! 
> 
> Hint 1: Status: Alive
> 
> Hint 2: Sympathy for the devil
> 
> Hint 3: He only rescues maidens
> 
> WE HAVE SOME WINNERS!!!!!
> 
> It was Jaime that loveable child pushing twin with the great hair :) 
> 
> A big shout out to UKCat and SnowWhiteKnight! You ladies are awesome :D


End file.
